IT'S LIKE THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL DAVID LYNCH FORGOT TO MAKE. And yes. UM IT'S GETTING A LITTLE WEIRD IN THERE, THEY'RE DRINKING OUT OF A FLASK.
Only 27 shopping days remain until the De Blasio Era begins, in which each subway car is its own Thunderdome of homeless people and left-wing crazies. And last night Bloomberg gave the first of his farewell speeches, and did that DARN THING THAT HE DOES where he suddenly starts saying awesome things:
[H]e recalled his unwavering support for a proposed mosque near the World Trade Center site, which much of the country angrily opposed.
“When a faith community wants to build a house of worship in a particular neighborhood,” he said, “we don’t tell them to look someplace else.”
“We are one city,” he added, “open to all, [...]
So far all anyone has to say about the Manhattan District Attorney charging a crazy man with assault because two cops opened fire on him (while he was unarmed) and shot bystanders is… "wait, what?"
This is also pretty choice: After his arrest, Mr. Broadnax was taken to Bellevue Hospital Center, where he told a detective that “he was talking to dead relatives in his head and that he tried throwing himself in front of cars to kill himself,” according to a court document released on Wednesday.
A judge ordered a mental evaluation, and a psychiatrist later found Mr. Broadnax competent to stand trial, Ms. Appling said.
The reviews are in for "Britney Jean"!
• "It’s her most disappointing release yet, a snoozefest of shallow mid-tempos and limp club tracks that chase trends rather than invent them."
• "It’s just straightforward pop music, and that’s just fine."
• "Like Wile E. Coyote realizing too late that he's walked off a cliff and is standing on thin air, "Britney Jean," the new studio album from Britney Spears, is marked with so many sleights of hand, dubious lyrics and bombastic but boringly simple melodies that the too-rare levitation of its better moments seems an animation trick."
If I worked at New York magazine, I'd spend the day cross-referencing people hair-rending on Twitter about the magazine going biweekly with the subscriber list. Just saying.
Looking at the MPA data for New York magazine gives one small side of the story. Sampling Q1 and Q3 data since 2006, actual reported print revenue doesn't change that radically, at least since the Great Downturn or whatever we're calling it.
But total ad pages per quarter does change.
What's interesting is that the magazine, like, you know, lots of magazines, makes lots of money. According to the Times, going biweekly "will yield about $3.5 million in savings." [...]
What do you get the person that doesn't need anything? Something they don't need, of course! Here's our annual holiday round-up of just terrific things for the rich person in your life. Where to even start!
Well what about… baby cashmere… for babies! It seems so obvious. There's so many choices!
The best possible choice in kidwear is this "Porte Enfant Cuddly," made from cashmere from the undercoat of baby goats and lined with rabbit fur. Just $5,125 at Loro Piana.
Or why not get these baby cashmere mittens for newborns? $275 at Loro Piana.
You and three friends could spend the day with Derek [...]
"I don’t think we’ll all be paying in bitcoin for tickets to Kanye West’s 2024 presidential victory tour."
You can’t use bitcoin for much today besides gambling in online casinos and reserving seats on Virgin Galactic spaceflights, and a vast majority of it is held by speculators. Even with the imprimatur of government regulation, the promise of bitcoin seems to end with helping online retailers avoid credit-card processing fees. Bitcoin is mainly innovative in the way of credit default swaps: new ways to gamble with money.
It doesn't look like anyone's really noticed this Lionel Shriver story in this week's New Yorker yet. (I hadn't, until a friend pointed it out to me last night in an email. (Body: "IT IS FUCKED UP."))
It is behind the subscriber-wall, and most people don't get to their "paper" issues till the weekend, after all, and also people tend to talk about fact more than fiction in the New Yorker. But… well, her story is pretty brutal, as you would expect from the author of We Need to Talk About Kevin, but and then? Well we must spoil it to talk about it. So. We will give [...]
Weatherman: Thanksgiving Eve Superstorm Will Bring The Utter Destruction Of All American Travel Plans And Dreams
— Eric Holthaus (@EricHolthaus) November 22, 2013
— Eric Holthaus (@EricHolthaus) November 22, 2013
America's weather-predicting boyfriend and repentant airplane user Eric Holthaus came out with a doozy this morning that'll rock your holidays: a foot of snow maybe, the day before Thanksgiving, give or take, hurricane force winds on the Eastern seaboard, general mayhem, rain across half the country, people eating each other alive in airports, turkeys brined in grandmothers' tears.
With the stupid news that NY1, America's best local television station, is going to be renamed "Time Warner Cable News NY1," which of course is what we are ALL going to call it all the time, comes fear and anxiety. Are they going to make Pat Kiernan wear a Time Warner tie? Are they going to make a horrible new jingle in which they semi-rhyme Time Warner with "your corner" or, worse, "tenant farmer"?
My biggest concern, however, is: what's going to happen to the hot jogger guy? Hot Jogger Guy has been appearing in the transitional bumps on NY1 for a very, very long time. He now [...]
Great news! Tom Wolfe's papers will be available to researchers at the New York Public Library. 100 linear feet of terrific history, of great use to scholars and students alike. Hooray! The price tag? North of $2 million dollars, paid by private donor, and accruing to Mr. Wolfe, who is now 83 and also quite wealthy. So first, to be polite: thank you for making this happen. And now. So many questions: Why not take the tax donation? Why send out our troubled libraries to secure seven figures for what should be a gracious gift? Also: Just, why?
The New York Public Library's wonderful Stephen A. Schwarzman building is [...]
It's time to take note again of one of the world's great magazines, The World of Interiors, a Condé Nast UK publication. When last mentioned here, it was because of its magical spread on Anna Wintour's Long Island home.
Edited by Rupert Thomas, the much-younger lover of Alan Bennett, the December issue goes beyond the magazine's low-key habit of just a photograph of an interior on the cover—no words!—and reproduces a stretch of post-Revolutionary French border pattern, from the collection of Christopher Moore, a Delhi-based collector of toiles de jouy. This is insane. (Moore travels with a book of "1,000 original watercolour designs for printed [...]
Further updates from our losing the war against trees: Already this season, slippery rail conditions caused by leaves have delayed Metro-North and Long Island Rail Road trains more than 700 times.
On the subway, the B and Q trains have been held up regularly as they go aboveground through Brooklyn’s leafier precincts.
How can fluttering foliage bring down a mighty rail network?
The culprit is pectin, the same stuff that causes jelly to jell.
It’s in leaves.
When trains run over wet leaves, “it actually creates a slurry,” said John Pesich, a vice president at Metro-North.
Are we even a society at this point? Or are we just [...]
Parents Pull Kids From School To Protest Barbara Ehrenreich, Eric Schlosser, Bill Ayers and Justin Bieber
Parents protesting the "Common Core" curriculum on the grounds that it promotes tyranny and/or makes their kids feel stupid are keeping their children home today. This is basically a protest of parents who are too lazy to home-school their kids. If you're not familiar with the opposition to Common Core, this policy paper blames Hillary Clinton, Bill Gates and Bill Ayers and protests the literature being taught in schools, all while not being able to use commas properly: "Typical are adaptations of popular adult nonfiction books like Fast Food Nation, the socialist tract, Nickel and Dimed, and books about teen idol Justin Bieber." And the most damning truth [...]
When will New York City win its war against leaves? The B and the Q trains are still enjoying a late fall issue, according to the MTA: "Fallen leaves, when crushed by train wheels, leave a slippery residue on the rails which may affect the train's ability to start and stop." What is this mysterious "residue"? Why do we allow trees to attack our important infrastructure? Let's finish this once and for all. Kill the trees, save the subways.
It's not as bad as that weird leaked trailer that came out a while ago, but the Noah trailer is really like a parody, right?
1. "Mr. Vollmann is 54, heterosexual and married with a daughter in high school. He began cross-dressing seriously about five years ago…. He said his wife, who is an oncologist, is not thrilled with his outré experiments and keeps her distance. 'Probably when the book comes out, it’ll be the first she’s heard of it,' he said. 'I always try to keep my wife and child out of what I do. I don’t want to cause them any embarrassment.' He asked that his wife not be interviewed for this article."
2. "We come from very mixed backgrounds. Kitten was raised Christian but is now Pagan. Doll is [...]
Richard Cohen believes De Blasio's biracial marriage causes regular voters to "suppress a gag reflex." CRAISINS. http://t.co/sz4eiaeIFn
— Heidi N. Moore (@moorehn) November 12, 2013
Huh? "People with conventional views… repress a gag reflex when considering a white man married to a black woman." http://t.co/yXSjJuCtkx
— Jeffrey Goldberg (@JeffreyGoldberg) November 12, 2013
Richard Cohen just wrote his retirement notice. http://t.co/WYhScySvmj
— Jack Shafer (@jackshafer) November 12, 2013
In. SO FUCKING IN. RT @anamariecox: Who wants to get Richard Cohen fired today? Time to punch the clock, Internet.
— delrayser (@delrayser) November 12, 2013
"Oh shit, we accidentally published [...]