Thursday, March 20th, 2014
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Just Stay Alive Three More Hours And Winter Is Over

It's spring! Or, it's almost spring: at just before 1 p.m. today, it becomes spring, and you will feel a bounce in your step, like a caveperson exiting a cave for the first time in months, plucking the last of the winter's dinosaur jerky from between your teeth. The Times points us to some local celebrations, for those so inclined: in Bowling Green at 12:30 today, the egg-balancing will begin. ("A basket of 360 eggs will be provided for the eggshilarating standing ceremony.") Or on Sunday, you could meet up to celebrate "the Rites of Spring and Persephone's emergence from the Underworld." That's in room 302 [...]

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Subway Loses Battle

#car #drivers into #Q #train #brooklyn #gm pic.twitter.com/7aNS9BPuiD

— SHOWED (@BKSHOSHANNAH) March 19, 2014

@VaTxn guess Not pic.twitter.com/pOV6R8EaOH

— SHOWED (@BKSHOSHANNAH) March 19, 2014

Is this real? It seems so. (via)

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Breaking Language News: "Feels" Dated To 1782

INTERNETS "FEELS" HAS BEEN A LEGIT TERM SINCE AT LEAST 1782. pic.twitter.com/iaC1UJr2Yw

— Karen Healey (@kehealey) March 17, 2014

Important historical research has been performed by author Karen Healey. Her research has led her to this letter from Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire, from 1782, noted in Amanda Foreman's The Duchess. Today is a day to celebrate.

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What Time Is "Primordial Gravitational Waves"?

Later today, science-type people are going to make an announcement that they promise is super-exciting and also possibly intelligible to the non-science community. The Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics, the rumors have it, will be talking about evidence for "primordial gravitational waves." Now is the time to bone up on your weird science, so that you can have an opinion about it, or what else is the point of living?

Here's an explanation from a few years back: So-called gravitational waves are a prediction of Albert Einstein's theory of general relativity—moving objects perturb spacetime, generating waves like a boat moving across a lake….Such primordial waves might offer [...]

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Terry Richardson: I Am The Hunted Witch!

Infamously handsy photographer Terry Richardson calls women consenting adults with free will who should know what to expect when they get in a studio with him. Well, that clears that up! This photo is a useful reference probably. :/

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Le1f On Letterman

Hometown hero does hometown show. Ahhhh.

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You Slept With Too Many Men At Work, And Other Reasons Why You Ladies Are Single

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Wall Street Ready For Another Four Years Of Bush

The Republican field for 2016 is a hot mess—so much so that Rand Paul is being taken somewhat seriously as a candidate. But what matters is the big elite coastal money, that poured so deliciously from Wall Street into the coffers of that sad stupid thing called Mitt Romney. With Chris Christie face-down for the count, it just doesn't know where to go: Scott Walker? Paul Ryan? They're both petty hoodlums, and, like Ted Cruz, they're too socially conservative for bankers who just care about cutting taxes, not regulating Wall Street and a cessation to the "Wall Street v. Main Street" dialogue. Oh they also would like to [...]

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"The Catapult": Where To Hear New Writing

The Catapult is a new podcast that highlights emerging fiction, nonfiction and poetry writers, with your host Jaime Green. Here's episode one! You can subscribe on iTunes or follow on Tumblr.

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And How Was Your SXSW?

Opted out of swinging from the wrecking ball when I saw this waiver. A selfie isn’t worth dying for. pic.twitter.com/w4YhzHqTY0

— Gillian Lanyon (@gillianlanyon) March 9, 2014

There's only one news report or image needed from SXSW, and this is it: pic.twitter.com/UKyzKQCmXF

— Tom Gara (@tomgara) March 9, 2014

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How Do We Know Who People Are?

It seems worthwhile to revisit the idea of the universal reputation market, in light of Schrödinger's Satoshi Nakamoto. Is this man Satoshi, or isn't he? For now, he equally is and he definitely isn't the progenitor of Bitcoin. No one has yet elaborated a way to decide.

One way, of course, that we might discover if this person is Satoshi Nakamoto is through constant surveillance—both physical and digital. Would that be a good thing?

How do we know who people are? We have some definite if hackable systems, like social security numbers. Names are a problem; sometimes unique, often not. So people are who they say they are—except, more [...]

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Popular Game Actually Good For Once

Finally. A game where you're not a dumb animal. Finally, a game about breaking things. God it's Friday, I want to break things. Plus every time it says "unlimited balls" I giggle.

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"Geek Love" Is 25

Katherine Dunn worked on the book for more than a decade. She also worked as a waitress, a bartender, and a house painter. In 1981, she started writing about boxing for local newspapers. (A collection of her boxing essays, One Ring Circus, was published in 2009.) Dunn also wrote an advice column for a local newspaper and did some radio and local TV commercial voice-over work. (Her voice is a scotch n’ cigarette alto that resonates warmly.) Occasionally she’d tell friends about her work in progress, Geek Love. “They would groan and say, ‘For Christ sake, Dunn, no one’s going to publish that, no one’s going to want to [...]

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Reddit Reeling From Brutal Dox Of Alleged Bitcoin Founder Satoshi Nakamoto

With Leah McGrath Goodman's identification of the founder of Bitcoin at Newsweek (not really a slam-dunk case? But, I'll take it, for now?), the greater Bitcoin-Internet is aghast. How dare this magazine expose this person? Not only are the comments on the piece itself entirely about how outrageous the reveal is, certainly Reddit is AFLAME.

"This is unbelievable. How can we, as a community, protect Satoshi? It's on us. He gave us this gift. What can we do for him? I'm thinking bounties on the heads of any criminal that touches Satoshi? Is that too rash?"

"This is scary as hell. This thing makes me [...]

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What Are You Giving Up For Lent?

I'm giving up ridiculous Times opiner Ross Douthat! This week, Douthat announced the gay victory over America, and his great trolling concern about what penalty the vicious gays will impose on Christians. (He's also concerned that people who won't provide services to gay people will go out of business. Welcome to capitalism! But of all business that should go under, the ridiculous Ross Douthat opinion industry should go first.)

But really this is just your friendly annual reminder that today is Ash Wednesday, so when you are out and about, don't be startled by the observant!

Image of French graffiti by

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Chef Burnt

.@gzchef @Storyful I was official photog for Reagan too. He also wore casual clothes on weekends in the Oval Office. pic.twitter.com/tz61N7jkNs

— petesouza (@petesouza) March 3, 2014

In which long-time White House photographer Pete Souza corrects idiot Reagan-worshipping celebrity chef Geoffrey Zakarian on the issue of Barack Obama wearing weekend clothes. Now you know where not to eat.

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"Burn Hollywood Burn" v. "12 Years A Slave"

Nestled midway on "Fear of a Black Planet," Public Enemy's 1990 platinum album—and one of the greatest musical releases of all time—comes "Burn Hollywood Burn." (Halfway between "911 Is A Joke" and "Fight the Power"! I mean!)

The track is notable not just for rhyming "burn" TERM and "perm" (important correction!) but for the collaboration with Ice Cube and Big Daddy Kane—the only guest stars on the album. "Butlers and maids," slaves and hoes" is how Kane describes available Hollywood roles for black people.

Here we are in the future, 24 years later! How did the fellas take last night's best picture win for 12 Years A Slave, in [...]

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Mt. Gox Topples

So long, Mt. Gox! Early this morning our time, the Bitcoin exchange announced it was entering bankruptcy protection. What was Mt. Gox? It was a dreaaaammmmm. And how: "The company's lawyers added that Mt.Gox may have lost nearly all of its virtual currency, leading to a black hole of 2.8 billion Japanese yen, local media reported."

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Writers No One Reads

Between 1918 and 1928, Alexander Vasilievich Chayanov (1888-1937) wrote and published (at his own expense) five short Gothic-fantastic tales in separate volumes with print runs of no more than 300 copies, mostly under the whimsical pseudonym “Botanist X.” In his lifetime and until the 1990s, Chayanov was better known as an expert in agricultural economics, particularly peasant labor – and his objections to Stalin’s program of forced collectivization caused his arrest in 1930, exile from Moscow to Kazakhstan, and eventual execution.

Have you read Alexander Chayanov? Me neither! He is among the variety of things you may discover at Writers No One Reads Dot Tumblr Dot Com.

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Hipster Still Typing Outdoors

Oh, you remember our friend C. D. Hermelin, who spends the warmer days out-of-doors typing stories on his typewriter, surely? Here is a film about his project.

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