Hey, young ladies! Do you regularly exhibit your nipples and/or pudenda on the streets? Young millennial fellas: are you a balls-out kinda guy in general? Good news! While some uptight fools will tell you not to dress like a slanch for your internship, we believe you are more likely to Find Your Unique Path and also to Make It In New York City in general if you just "be yourself." An office is an extension of your lifestyle, after all, and if your lifestyle is nipple-centric or "neo-burlesque" or "embodying James Deen gifs," that is fine, and don't let anyone tell you different. You're only young and pretty once!
Dave Bry (at noon on Leonard Lopate and tonight at the Park Slope Community Bookstore), Faun Fables at the Knitting Factory, Har Mar Superstar at Le Poisson Rouge, plus James Salter and more! Tonight, so amazing.
Here is a pretty epic and accurate description of the hubris of the new Internet-rich. Now that a small group of people has accumulated vast amounts of money, employing desperately few Americans, paying very little in taxes, isolating itself in wealthy bubbles while the rest of America slowly smolders, what will we do when they try to take over the government? Nope, not in some hypothetical far future; pretty much it all starts right now. First one off the Internet wins.
Finally, our president has taken the battle home in our long war against birds. So long, eagles and hawks! Get stuffed! (If they can still stuff the twisted half-carcasses—more than half a million a year!—that remain after our wind turbines do their work.) MAKE LIKE THE BEES AND DROP DEAD.
Oh man, this total environmental collapse is going to be awesome!
— Matthew Zeitlin (@MattZeitlin) May 14, 2013
love to Angelina, but if the cure to breast cancer is that woman have to get their breasts removed before they get cancer, we are in trouble
— Michael Skolnik (@MichaelSkolnik) May 14, 2013
"Raising awareness" about a test that is too expensive to be affordable for most people is kind of problematic.
— Aaron Bady (@zunguzungu) May 14, 2013
— Justin Evans (@Justinevans0502) May 14, 2013
“You know what would be news? [...]
Hometown hero Nico Muhly does two (TWO!) shows at Le Poisson Rouge tonight. Iron and Wine is at the Beacon; Kevin Powers is at McNally Jackson; Tiziana Lo Porto discusses her graphic novel Superzelda at the Strand; TJ English talks crime writing at the B&N on 86th Street. Oh yes.
In Union Square this morning. The MTA is making millions off that extra buck you pay for a new metrocard. We've got reaction
— kristen shaughnessy (@kshaughnessy2) May 13, 2013
Each Metrocard costs the MTA about six cents to make. Since March, they've charged you a dollar for each one, because it's not "green." Because… that's your fault. That they make Metrocards. Yeah.
So the other 94¢ the MTA makes on each card goes to planting a baby tree in Queens. Because that'd be GREEEEEN. Just kidding, it's all profit. The idea of this having to do with the environment is as fake as the scammy carbon [...]
A few months back, Mike Hayes, who's a senior reporter at BuzzFeed and who also runs the official BuzzFeed Twitter account, sent around an email to the office. Twitter, he reported, was going to be verifying the whole staff at once. To be eligible, employees just needed to attach their work email addresses to their Twitter accounts.
And so then one day in March, poof. Scores of BuzzFeeders with blue checkboxes on their Twitter profiles. Other companies, like The Verge, followed.
so many buzzfeed writers, verified. heads need to roll over this. verify me @twitter
— max read (@max_read) March 12, 2013
There's sort of nothing funnier [...]
Emma Carmichael—recession-era graduate, hip hop enthusiast, most recently managing editor of Deadspin, and previously managing editor of Gawker—will become the editor of The Hairpin beginning next Wednesday. She plans to turn the site into a field hockey fan forum. Lots of gifs of amazing goals. Kidding! No, it's mostly just NASCAR coverage from here on out. And what of trusty Hairpin founder Edith Zimmerman? She will take a little break and then return to continue making The Hairpin the Special People's Club that it is. Questions? Ask them in the comments over there. Just not here. We're trying to keep this a safe space. (Yes, [...]
Why did the Bloomberg administration expend hours and hours of City time keeping the Cathie Black emails private? There weren't that many of them. They weren't that interesting, overall. Their defense showed that the Mayor's office—or "Mb" himself, as Bloomberg's permanent #2, Patricia Harris, refers to him in emails—believes this: "the principles permitting government employees to exchange opinions, advice and criticism freely and frankly, without the chilling prospect of public disclosure, should extend to individuals who have been elected or selected to public office but have not yet assumed office." That's right. Because the machinations of installing an entirely unqualified local famous person to run (ruin?) New York City's [...]
It's a magical day when Le1f is doing a show. But in other news, Sam Lipsyte is reading (AGAIN) and there's Tig Notaro and some hot young British novelists are displayed, etc..
It's just another manic Monday. With special guest stars Jonathan Ames, Ben Greenman and The Breeders. (Breeders tickets are currently starting at $41 on StubHub.) And yet:
Sometimes young people get in trouble for talking to the trashy media, or for writing first-person essays. Then everyone gets all upset and exercised. So it is, so it has been for some time. Ask May Marcy McClellan, who scandalized Europe by talking smack about the Italians—and became the launching-off point for a Henry James novel.
In this one, the first 40 minutes are just the ladies on a rooftop in Williamsburg, throwing rotten vegetables at the 20-somethings below. Then Miranda does a $12-million Kickstarter to fund her new boutique law firm. Charlotte fires her household staff. Samantha has sex with some men. Carrie, now single, writes a column for XO Jane and, whilst picking up her $45 check in the office, meets Lena Dunham and then goes home and hangs herself. Sounds good, can't wait!
According to the classic rock radio station I was listening to in the car this morning, DON'T DRIVE INTO NEW YORK CITY TODAY, oh yes, OCCUPY WALL STREET WILL BE DESTROYING MANHATTAN. If only!
That being said, Occupy and friends have a nice calendar of events for the day.
• 11 a.m. "Free University" in Cooper Square, outside the sad, sad hulk of Cooper Union, which was recently destroyed by capitalism.
• 1 p.m. "Anti-capitalist march" from Tompkins Square Park (of course).
• 4 p.m. Rally in Union Square. (This event has permits.)
• 7 p.m. A people's assembly in Foley Square.
UM MARILYNNE ROBINSON IS SPEAKING TONIGHT AT THE CUNY GRAD CENTER. This is slightly difficult for all of us, as there are actually a number of other awesome things happening.