If am somehow conscious while it is happening, I think my first thought when I am about to die will be, "Jesus, finally." But I'm pretty sure my second thought will be, "What an idiot," no matter what the circumstances. Hopefully there won't be time for a third thought.
Is this the world's tallest rooster? Sure, why the hell not.
"Before I had to be on a flight at least twice a week for work, I’d rather have stared quietly at the seatback in front of me for two hours than muster up the enthusiasm to get anything productive done on an airplane. Now that I’m racking up frequent flyer miles, it’s become a priority for me to treat the tray table as an extension of my office and it isn’t always easy. Here are a few tips to keep you on task, because its way more fun to enjoy happy hour at your destination than it is to finally finish that spreadsheet you’ve been putting off."
"A new study suggests that people with left-brain dominance tend to listen to their mobile phones with their right ear, and vice-versa."
Kevin Patrick Shields turns 50 today. Remember a couple months back when everyone was all, OH MY GOD NEW BLOODY VALENTINE RECORD I'M GONNA DIE etc.? Do people still talk about it now here in the future? I'm actually asking, I don't get out much any more so I'm not sure what The Word On The Street These Days is. Anyway, many bloody returns.
Do you lay awake some nights with the pillow clamped over your eyes to keep out the light from the streets, your breath labored as you try to set the racing thoughts at bay, listing numbers very slowly and almost drifting off before an errant fear jumps to the front of the line in your consciousness and snaps you back awake? Do you sigh to yourself and resume the slow count, knowing that it won't really work but trying all the same, because what else are you going to do, it's way too early to call it morning and you're already in short supply of sleep because everything you [...]
The Mighty Boosh's Noel Fielding turns 40 today, so this seems appropriate. And also this.
"Professional tennis players are among the world's most finely trained athletes, with bodies that are honed to laser precision to compete in multimillion-dollar matches. Why, then, are so many top-seeded tennis players falling victim to mononucleosis, or mono, the 'kissing disease'?"
If you are still grieving over the year's biggest tragedy thus far, here is some news that might briefly blot out the pain: you can catch the remaining episodes of "Don't Trust the B—- in Apt. 23" on Hulu and ABC.com and some other computer-related places.
"Residents of Manhattan will not just sweat harder from rising temperatures in the future, says a new study; many may die."
"In a time when feelings of insecurity run high and people shy away, the selfie is an instant of boldness."
"So maybe 'hoping it doesn’t rain' isn’t the best business model for an outdoor food and wine festival in New York City?"
"New research suggests chronic smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, and increasing age are all associated with increased oxidative damage to brain tissue." —I am not sure what they're trying to say here, although that probably proves their point.
You know, if you gargle with bourbon none of this is ever a problem.
"If you like using online tools to hunt and gather your food, take note: Seamless and GrubHub, two of the better-known players in the mobile food-delivery business, announced today that they will be merging their services."
I don't know what you did from Friday to Sunday, but I spent the weekend putting together the proposal for the book I have so long refused countless entreaties to write. Boo Hoo Hoo I'm Sad: A History Of Why I Suck is pitched as a memoir—because, really, that's the only way to sell anything these days; unless it happened to you (or, you know, "happened" to you) apparently it does not appeal to the only prurient interests that remain susceptible enough to manipulation in our post-literate society to entice the purchase of a piece of print carrying no perfume samples within its covers—but is less a recounting of all [...]
"An explosion caused by a meteoroid impact on the moon a couple of months ago was visible from Earth with the naked eye, according to Science@NASA. But don’t worry if you didn’t catch it — it was only noticeable for a moment." —Ugh, they are totally right about the way desensitization happens. It used to be that a simple video of the moon getting walloped by space would have kept me sated for days, but after years of poring over each and every frame of hot rock-on-moon action it barely registers; I need something considerably more graphic and extended to excite me now.
"Terrifying footage shows what it is like to be eaten by a bear." Trigger warning, I guess, if you've been eaten by a bear before.