Thursday, February 13th, 2014
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Indisputable Evidence That Spiders Have It Worse Than Any Generation in 50 Years

A generation of spiders is entering the world and the workforce unprepared. What do we do about the spiders?

• More so than previous generations, spiders incubated in beauty and comfort and spaciousness unknown to their parents at that age. Word that 6 million spiders are not working or studying comes as no surprise to anyone with a spider in the basement.

The spiders are suffering a Jimmy Carter-style malaise. It is understandable.

• Many spiders told us that they often worried about being able to pay for dates, while others were still trying to figure out whether they'd [...]

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