7:55 AM Thursday, August 21 — Barney’s Warehouse Sale, The Metropolitan Pavilion at 19th and 6th
Length: Seventy-six people
Weather: 66 and partly cloudy
Crowd: Under caffeinated clothing addicts
Mood: Half asleep yet fully dressed
Wait Time: Fifteen-to-twenty minutes
Lingering Question: How has this “warehouse” not been cleaned out yet?
11:15 AM Thursday, August 21st — Supreme New York Fall collection launch, Lafayette and Prince
Length: A hundred and seven boys, two girls
Weather: 75 and cloudy
Crowd: Hypebeasts that can buy all the Nikes they want, but still can’t a beer
Mood: Be-sneakered and self-conscious
Wait time: Two-to-three hours
Lingering question: How many weeks’ allowance does a Supreme hat cost?
5:32 PM Saturday, August 16th — “Dragon Beard” Candy Stand, Mott and Grand
Length: Seven people
Weather: 77 and partly cloudy
Crowd: Wide-eyed European tourists
Mood: Skeptical yet undeniably intrigued
Wait time: Five minutes
Lingering Question: What exactly is a Dragon Beard and why would anyone want to consume it?