Tuesday, June 10th, 2014
8

What Was Money, Part Infinity

moneyUber, the most valuable bro startup in history, has been valued at $18.2 billion. Crazy, right? Or is it? asks Andrew Ross Sorkin. "But here’s another way to think about Uber’s whopping valuation: It is still too low."

After all, he notes, "consider the 'smart money' that plowed $1.2 billion into the company before its recent valuation, only 10 months after it was valued at only $3.5 billion: Fidelity Investments, BlackRock, Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers, Google Ventures, Menlo Ventures and Wellington Management and Summit Partners." This is true: not one of these venture firms has ever contributed to the wildly inflated value of a technology company in the hopes of one day realizing an enormous profit.

Sorkin, being a reasonable person, however, concedes, "Maybe Uber will turn out to be a bust. It is possible. Or maybe not. Either way it will be a fun ride." The evaporation of billions of dollars and the "20,000 new jobs per month" that Uber is supposedly creating could indeed be fun, in the way that the Freefall ride at Six Flags is, once you've trained yourself to recognize the sensation of your stomach shooting up into your throat as you plummet to earth from an unimaginable height at incredible speed as fun.

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8 Comments / Post A Comment

I mean, it makes sense if we can all agree that multi-billion-dollar valuations are basically meaningless.

hershmire (#233,671)

@Subway Suicide@twitter You clearly haven't tried the Uber app, which connects you with a driver at the tap of a button and none of the pesky Germanic umlauts!

@hershmire: I have tried the app, and while it has worked for me about 3/4 of the time, i also find it exorbitantly expensive. In most instances, I'd rather just call a car service, which Brooklyn has in plenitude. And in the instances when a car service doesn't make sense (New Year's Eve, Halloween, etc), I am unwilling to submit myself to a $700 premium for an Uber car.

hershmire (#233,671)

@Subway Suicide@twitter Yeah, I was being facetious, as in a company that hails cabs shouldn't be worth whatever imaginary number is quoted above.

(I actually had to look up what they do. "Tap of a button" is the dumb marketing speech from their website.)

holdup!holdmyphone! (#274,038)

dang bro whats with all these numbers i just need a ride to the store

Matt Buchanan (#232,205)

@holdup!holdmyphone! I liked it better when you just liked stuff

KarenUhOh (#19)

@Matt Buchanan I liked it too!

flossy (#1,402)

Is this one of those "15 Cats Who Think Their Poo Don't Stink" that I read about at the top of theawl.com?

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