Phrosties, the potent
alco-slushies that New Yorkers in certain neighborhoods can
order from an anonymous Instagram account, had nearly run their
course. They had been covered by every outlet that might possibly
have an interest in sweet icy rotgut. With thousands of followers,
the drink had reached what seemed like a supply and attention
plateau: Popular enough to earn a place in urban drunk legend, but
small enough to remain proprietary.
A company hawking a boozy Slushie over social media should have to prove it’s not selling to kids if it wants to stay in business, Sen. Charles Schumer said Monday. “A 12-year-old can probably buy these ‘sloshies’ online, get it and enjoy it because it’s filled with fruit juice and fruit punch and all the things that taste sweet and nice,” the New York Democrat said at a press conference.
Official Phrostie operations are now marked for death, which means that we are doomed to drink Phrosties for years. A senatorial call-out is how half-bogus drug and drink trends become real: Chuck Schumer has guaranteed the already non-trivial possibility that every young bar in New York City, and then in other cities, will formulate its own version. It promises Pinterest boards full of Phrostie imitations, perfectly layered and made with the finest liquors and syrups. Recipes, riffs on recipes. Theme parties. A mention on Girls. Eventually, a Diageo/InBev pre-packaged option. Summer has arrived. [Pic via]