Lately when I have been laying awake in bed as dawn comes on and wishing there were some way it would all simply cease I have shifted my final fantasy from a giant sheet of ice that freezes me forever to an asteroid that appears without warning and suddenly puts an end to everything (I blame Elizabeth Kolbert for putting this beautiful dream in my head). Unfortunately, one cannot sustain thoughts of personal extinction forever; the mind tends to drift, and this morning my reverie of eradication was interrupted by my brain’s inexplicable decision to focus on the subject of email, specifically, why does it suck so bad? I read somewhere recently, I can’t remember where, that they were working on a new way to structure email; whereas now it is an interaction that demands the semblance of a conversation, in the future it would be more like a social media platform, i.e. instead of having to open and respond to a specific missive you could “heart” or “RT” or whatever to indicate receipt without having to get into a whole discussion about the subject in question. WHERE IS THAT FUTURE, I ask you, because ohmyGod does the present suck so bad. I hate email. It jacks up my already dangerously-elevated levels of anxiety and sits in the box, taunting me, demanding acknowledgment, never satisfied with even the most supplicating of yeses given to put an end to the conversation. Ugh it’s so bad. Anyway, you know what would be even worse? This.