"A diet rich in meat, eggs, milk and cheese could be as harmful to health as smoking, according to a controversial study into the impact of protein consumption on longevity."
Old people in the future are going to be really fucking boring aren't they? Telling their Grandkids how they never did anything fun.
"But whereas middle-aged people who consumed a lot of animal protein tended to die younger from cancer, diabetes and other diseases, the same diet seemed to protect people's health in old age."
Wait, this scientific study can't be boiled down to a simplistic, straightforward headline? SCIENCE IS SO SUBJECTIVE, IF THERE'S GLOBAL WARMING HOW COME ALL THIS SNOW, etc. etc.
Alternate take : "(Study director) Longo told the Guardian. 'We are not saying go and do some crazy diet we came up with. If we are wrong, there is no harm done, but if we are right you are looking at an incredible effect that in general is about as bad as smoking.'"
I THOUGHT SCIENCE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE "SCIENTIFIC" AND NOW HERE YOU ARE WITH YOUR WISHY-WASHY "UNCERTAINTIES", THAT'S WHY MY SARDINES-AND-BREAD WEIGHT-LOSS PROGRAM IS BASED ON THE BIBLICAL WORD OF OUR UNERRING LORD JESUS, etc. etc.
Also, the photos at the top of that article look absolutely fucking delicious.
I think about the phrase "but don't even talk to me about garlic or onion powder or COMPOUND FUCKING BUTTER, asshole" at least once a month.
I picked the wrong week to cut back on legumes.
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