Tuesday, January 21st, 2014
3

I Went To A Disclosure Concert And All I Felt Was My Impending Mortality


Sunday was my 7,738th* day on the planet. It was also my first Disclosure concert.

Disclosure—a British electronic duo made up of brothers Guy (8,277 days old at the time of publication) and Howard (a mere 7,195 days) Lawrence—had a pretty great 2013, releasing their debut album Settle with singles “White Noise” and “Latch” both going gold in the UK. Settle itself went to #1 on UK charts, and has been nominated for a Grammy. The boys, along with “Latch” vocalist Sam Smith, made their US TV debut on "Fallon" last night. They’re going places. It’s exciting. I’d wanted to see them on a small sliver on their journey upward, so I’d bought tickets for their final show at Terminal 5 in New York City.

Sting (22,757 days) was reportedly also at my Disclosure concert. Unfortunately, Sting—and everyone else of his age group—was nowhere to be found. By all appearances, most of the attendees had been alive for less than 6,000 days. (Mary J. Blige, who joined Disclosure on stage for a song, had released her first album before most of the audience was born.) I, approaching 8,000 days, felt old.

It was the first time I’ve really felt old, actually. There, in that converted warehouse, I was surrounded by rampant, unabashed selfies, boys awkwardly side-hugging their dates, girls doing that dance thing where they weave their arms around, flashing the Xs** on the backs of their hands. My own date (7,559 days) was also younger than me, so I was really, actually the oldest person in the room. Or so it felt.

The average American woman (which I am) lives 29,665 days. That means on the day of the Disclosure concert, my life was about 26.0846% over in an ideally average world. As my days chug along at a steady rate, I can’t help but feel—no, not irritation as the 6,000-day-old teens called for people in the balconies to pour beer down their not-yet-legal throats, no, not annoyance as these children lit cigarettes when the band came out because cigarettes are what’s edgy when you’re still two years away from 18—but comfort in passing on the future, my future, our future, to the spirited youth of Disclosure concerts, and of the world.



*7,738 days works out to a little over 21 years. Let that make you feel as old, or as young, as you want/can handle.

**I, admittedly, also had Xs on the backs of my hands because when I was coming into Terminal 5, I showed the bouncer my very-legal ID card and he was like “okay cool” and marked my hands anyway.

3 Comments / Post A Comment

LondonLee (#922)

This exact thing happened to me at a Jam concert in 1982

Mr. B (#10,093)

A website devotes much energy to hating on millennials, then goes and hires one (right?) … or is there something very meta and arch going on here that I'm missing? The URL and tags seem to suggest that Balk is up there in the rafters holding the strings and chuckling darkly. Or is "Jeva" really Balk in millennial drag???

Mr. B (#10,093)

(sorry jeva i'm sure you're a nice kid but you know how we can get here sometimes)

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