Will China Destroy The Moon?

If it's not too much bother could you blow this bitch the fuck up? Thanks.“China successfully launched a lunar probe into space Monday morning, on a two-week journey to deliver a robotic rover to the surface of the moon. The mission marks China’s first attempt at soft-landing a spacecraft on an extra-terrestrial body, and could benefit future plans to land Chinese astronauts on the moon.”
—Dear China,

Please cut yourself some slack on this one and just go for the hard landing. Do not worry about hurting the moon, just RAM THAT ROBOTIC ROVER INTO ITS STUPID SATELLITE CRUST UNTIL WE CAN HEAR THE SCREAMS OF MOON PAIN FROM SPACE. I mean, whatever, do what you feel like, but, you know, if you happen to SMASH THE SHIT OUT OF THE MOON by “accident” I am prepared to look the other way. Metaphorically, I mean. You’d better believe I would be watching the footage of moon destruction OVER AND OVER AND OVER. Anyway, thanks!

Your pal,
Al
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