"as i write this i realize once again how god is a lie and humans are mostly terrible. life continues to have its 'ups and downs,' but overall there is a great deal to be grateful for, like potato chips that magically taste like buffalo wings. we see again the truth that even in dealing with adversity we grow. the important things are still netflix, forgiveness, and al pastor tacos. as we celebrate another christmas and another year i know that we all hold dear in our hearts the memories and the petty, soul-killing minutiae of each endless motherfucking day. thank you dear ones for allowing me to reminisce and contemplate suicide when i realize how bleak my outlook is in comparison. may we continue to savor each breath we take while actively praying for death to come for us in our sleep."
—Now this is my kind of Christmas letter.