I Will Not Apologize For Just Randomly Tossing Out A Bunch Of Things That Nobody Wanted To Know About Me Or Cared About Anyway

So three things happened in recent succession, close enough together that it ensured I would not forget them and all thematically similar enough that my brain was somehow able to conflate them into A Story That Says Something About Who I Am Now: First, I was walking through the Greenmarket in Union Square when I saw a remarkably striking woman walking the other way, and when I say striking it is not any kind of exaggeration, she was just massively eye-catching, all tits and hair, and as we crossed paths and then went in opposite directions the first thought I had was, “Wow, I bet she is totally underestimated at work, I hope she uses it to her advantage.” The second incident also occurred in Union Square (look, the summer is just about over, I am buying whatever amount of little cucumbers I can still get before all they’re selling is potatoes and kale) and this time I walked past a young lady who was eating ice cream from a cup, and the look on her face as she brought the spoon to her mouth was one of such pure joy but also guilt that I spent the next few minutes in deep thought about the incredibly complex relationship women have with what they eat and how body image plays such a huge role in shame and pleasure to an obvious detrimental effect on even basic mental health. Finally, I was walking across 7th Avenue and I saw a gigantic billboard advertising the Jambone or Jawbox or whatever the hell it is, it’s like a set of speakers that plays your iPod and looks like a big Lego piece? You know what I mean. The slogan was “Starts with Jambox or Jawbone” or whatever the hell it is. (It says the name of the actual product, I am just not good at remembering.) Anyway, as you get closer to the ad you realize that it shows an attractive young woman in a state of extreme undress; in fact, she is so undressed that she is in a tub full of bubbled water, and her eyes look out in such a way as to suggest that someone, perhaps you, the viewer, is about to get to do sex to her, and my first thought upon that realization was that the woman in the ad appeared to be multiracial, and how amazing is it that we live in a time where something like that is going to be the norm rather than the exception? Now I am not sharing these anecdotes to suggest that I am somehow evolved in my thinking as a man or a sexist or whatever (please see “all tits and hair” above), but I am saying that these thoughts certainly would not have been the first, or even third, things I thought in these situations when I was a much younger man. So I guess I’m getting older, is what I’m saying. More mature. On the other hand, I still did notice these women, which is probably problematic somehow, I’ll admit to that. But I’m not going to apologize for it. I’m not going to apologize for being an old man who is probably problematic and rambles on about things to no end and even those things that I ramble on about are not particularly original or unique nor do they really call for any kind of apology, people have plenty of other things they are busy with right now to worry about, would be the title of my Thought Catalog essay if I ever wrote one, which I wouldn’t, but I think you see where I’m going with this. Thank you.#