Tunisia, why are you turning your nose up like that at poor Sicily? Who can you possibly think you're better than? You're where George Lucas was allowed to have a camera.
You remember that picture where if you looked at it one way it was a haggard old lady and if you looked at it the other way it was a beautiful woman? I just looked at the old lady face in Alaska upside down and it looked like an upside-down old lady.
Armenia looks just like the protagonist of The Paperboy.
Pictured: India, left, cracking open a cold one and drinking Sri Lanka right up. I bet there's a metaphor here somewhere. Let me read my Economist back issues and get back to you.
Does anyone remember The Mask, with pre-penguin movies Jim Carrey? Pre-fame Cameron Diaz. Also pre-taste 12-year-old me lapping it up out of a trough because it was a comic book movie. Korea, you remind me of the most horrible moments.
Everybody likes to think of the "I am not a crook" as the first time that Richard Nixon had to assert that he was not a crook. In fact, he made a lifelong career out of it. Just look up his Checkers speech. You have to admire someone who made a career out of bald-faced lying for his fuck-ups in public. It was like the Bill Clinton prototype. It was such a controversy when Ford pardoned him, and Nixon basically sulked out of the public life until he died, also creating the prototype for presidents who go into hiding after their presidencies.
I hear Montana is a beautiful place.
I wonder if there's a border that looks like Gerald Ford.
I've been really tryin', baby / Tryin' to hold back these feeling for so long / And if you feel, like I feel baby / Then come on, oh come on. (I would like to think that Morocco is the secret freak who kisses on Spain.)
I keep looking for the mouth of Pakistan. In one place, it's whistling a tune. In another, it's keeping a stiff upper lip in the face of adversity. In still another, there are robotic planes hovering above.