Mister Softee Jingle Lyrics NOT An Incessant Stream Of Profanity, Apparently


Ugh, so this whole time I have been walking around thinking the words to the Mister Softee jingle went like this:

I am the fucking ice cream man, the man who sells the ice cream
I am the fucking ice cream man, I sell you fucking ice cream
You want some fucking ice cream? Well, I’ll tell you what to do
Come by my fucking ice cream truck, I’ll sell that shit to you
I am the fucking ice cream man, the man who sells the ice cream
I am the fucking ice cream man, I sell you fucking ice cream
Bitch shit cock piss dick ass balls, fucking ice cream

but as it turns out, they are considerably more pedestrian. I still like mine better, but I would not recommend singing either of them in front of small children. [Via]