Two-Headed Shark Fetus Killed By Shark Abortionist

'We're gonna need a two-headed boat.'This delightful creature was inside the mommy shark when a shark fisherman killed them both. Or all three of them.

Experts who examined the two-headed shark say it’s the first ever bull shark to be found with two heads—somebody put the dead fetus in the MRI machine because why not, and found that it wasn’t “conjoined twins” but an actual two-headed shark and the first two-headed bull shark ever to be put inside the MRI machine.

Researchers also claim the baby monster would not live long in the wild, but this sounds like eugenics. Wouldn’t the baby two-headed shark have twice the chance at survival?

Anyway, shark abortion should be illegal. The founders did not intend for fisherman to kill a shark fetus. And this shark could’ve been a major attraction, had it been allowed to live. People are tired of CGI and would like to see a real monster eat some actors. Imagine the career comeback for some burnout like Lindsay Lohan if she agreed to be eaten by a two-headed shark, for real, in 3D. Or, one shark head could eat Lindsay Lohan, and the other could eat … a real “left field” choice, maybe Val Kilmer? This would be a very good movie and it is a shame we’ll never see it now, because of some fisherman out there killing babies in the sea.

Photo by Dr. Michael Wagner.