What is this? Why, it’s the kickoff to 2013’s Conservative Political Action Conference in National Harbor, Maryland. Why is the nice hostess complaining about the crumbling roads and bridges? And why is the nice hostess mocking America’s War On Terror? Because Barack Obama is president! And you know what happens, etc., such as “Michelle Obama gets Beyoncé.” These themes will be consistent throughout the convention at the Gaylord National Hotel, and tickets sold for as much as $1,000. Next week, when you see endless clips of fresh-faced rising stars of the conservative movement saying insanely racist or just insane things into a microphone on a trade-show stage, this is where it all comes from: CPAC.
This year’s special speakers show just how serious Republicans are about casting out the dangerous lunatics and maybe winning another election someday: Donald Trump, Rick Perry, Mitt Romney, Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich, Paul Ryan, Michele Bachmann, Rick Santorum, and Rand Paul. Sticking to recent tradition, no electable Republicans (Chris Christie is the only one, we guess?) were invited to appear at the wingnut festival.
But it’s not all reality television millionaires and white people from dubious colleges who come to CPAC to say special things! Each year there is also a Prominent Black Conservative, to show that this is the Party of Lincoln. The very wise Allen West has that role this time around.