4
Magic Shape-Shifting Jesus Supposedly Arrested On Wrong Night
"Written in the Coptic language, the ancient text tells of Pontius Pilate, the judge who authorized Jesus' crucifixion, having dinner with Jesus before his crucifixion and offering to sacrifice his own son in the place of Jesus. It also explains why Judas used a kiss, specifically, to betray Jesus—because Jesus had the ability to change shape, according to the text—and it puts the day of the arrest of Jesus on Tuesday evening rather than Thursday evening, something that contravenes the Easter timeline."
—The shape-shifting Jesus and Pilate offering up his son for substitute crucifixion, that we can handle. But Jesus arrested on Tuesday evening instead of Thursday evening?
Well, the Coptics did write with more emotion.
Probably a sequel to the "Infancy" gospel in which young Jesus used his magical powers to kill two playmates and blind their parents.
@KenWheaton I *love* the infancy gospels.
Kids, if you liked Harry Potter, wait 'til you meet Jesus the Weird Young Magician.
Shapeshifting Jesus –> Easter Bunny
It all makes so much sense now.