Let's Make the Sequester the SEA QUESTER!
So this fiscal cliff thing, whatever it is, seems pretty bad. Or maybe it's not that big a deal? Will it last forever? Is it "in the Constitution" or just a Politico scam? Is it Obama's fault, or are liberals to blame? The problem is that sequester is jargon garbage that means nothing to anyone outside of newsrooms and the U.S. Capitol, which should just have iron bars put in all the windows and doorways and be renamed Ronald Reagan Federal Penitentiary.
What's happening is nothing less than a partial-birth shutdown of the United States. It is the fault of Tea Party Kochbats in Congress who are, if I'm reading the Constitution correctly, committing terrorism—"treason," in old-timey Constitution framers' talk—against the American People, especially old white people on Social Security who vote Republican, despite all evidence suggesting they are voting against their own interests. The best way to illustrate this sequester concept during the next few days before it resolves is to bring back the classic undersea adventure show "SeaQuest," which had Bob Fosse as the Old Sea Captain and a dolphin wearing a parka as "Ensign Dolphin." Even a Fox News viewer can say "Sea Quest" correctly, with some practice. Let's make this happen, Hollywood! The nation needs the entertainment industry like never before.
As a nerdy child growing up near the ocean, Sea Quest was perhaps one of my favorite television shows. What's not to like about UNDERWATER STAR TREK, I ask you?
T'row da bums out!
We already have a turtle senator, why not a dolphin?
A sequester abroad.
Let's give Ken the benefit of the doubt and believe he didn't take this joke from this weekend's Wait Wait Don't Tell me.
I came up with this joke last Wednesday. COME ON, THE AWL.
@Brian Calandra I guess we all have Google these days, even public radio elitists.
FLIPPER LIBEL!
Suppose your spouse came to you.
"Honey, we need to cut our budget by 2 percent."
And you respond:
"We'll have to sell the house, burn our clothes and return the car to the dealership."
That's how Obama's responding to the sequester. And you're acting just like the politicians, Ken, playing their games.