Great White Shark Is California's Newest Cuddly Endangered Species

Shark attack, shark attack, get out of the water and don't come back.The great white shark is a majestic and terrifying animal, as you may have seen in videos, but it has also been mercilessly hunted by heartless creeps who hate nature. The great white is more than a sea monster, of course: It is a crucial part of the ocean environment, acting as the grim reaper for sad and sickly sea critters who would otherwise require entitlements to live out their old age.

As of February, the majestic killing machine of the deep is protected by California’s Endangered Species Act. Sports fishing of the sharks has been illegal since 1994, but a lot of juvenile great whites get caught up by industrial seafood fishing nets. And because nobody has no idea what kind of fish is served in restaurants or sold in stores, regardless of the label’s claims, you are probably eating a lot of innocent shark right now, in your “spicy tuna roll.”

Under the new protections, anyone with these endangered predators will be fed to the sharks thrown in a prison in the Central Valley with Charles Manson. Or the fish processing plant will pay a small fine, one or the other.

Photo by Hermanus Backpackers.