Friday, March 15th, 2013
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U.S. Women Quickly Dropping Dead In Southern & Rural Counties; Is God To Blame?

City lady wins the war on death!After many decades of winning the war on death, American women are now losing their lifespan gains over men. Especially in the Deep South and in rural counties, American women in their early 70s are now dropping off at a terrifying rate—70 should be long enough for anyone, but a girl child born today has an expected lifespan of 81 years, while boy children born today have the male disadvantage of a 76-year lifespan.

The question is why women are losing this advantage, if living longer can even be considered an advantage, especially in the Deep South or America's Heartland or the rural Western states.

According to Fox News, experts cannot explain the "disturbing trend." Dr. Christopher Murray, who led a similar study a couple of years ago, blamed smoking, abuse of Oxycontin and other drugs, and the fact that fewer women in the South received a high school diploma for the decline in that region of the country. He also speculated that the healthier women were migrating out of rural areas.

But there is another theory—not one backed by research or science or statistics or smoking rates for women in the South and rural areas, but by God's plan for our lives.

"Women are not getting married," says someone from a group called Concerned Women of America. "They are under far more stress than they used to be under, and the lifestyle that is so typical today—that is godless and churchless and faithless—is particularly hard on women."

Once God is invited back to the South, perhaps women there can go back to burying their husbands and enjoying the customary five years of peace and joy before the black hole of death.

Photo by AmbroPhoto via Shutterstock.

4 Comments / Post A Comment

stuffisthings (#1,352)

I know logic is too much to ask for here, but if Godlessness were responsible then wouldn't Coastal Elite Women have the shortest lifespans of all? Or do their witch powers make them basically immortal?

Ken Layne (#262)

@stuffisthings Answered your own question: "witch powers."

hockeymom (#143)

@Ken Layne Bring back "Will It Float?"

namedropper (#8,938)

Meth. That and guns. No science needed. Only concerned women of america were fooled.

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