Tuesday, February 19th, 2013
23

Slate Complete

My poor friend Dan Kois. Apparently he lost a big bet, and had to write a bizarre and maniacal Slate piece to prove that literally anything could be denounced in a counterintuitive Andy Rooney freakout. And here it is: "Tilting your seat back on an airplane is pure evil." His solution: don't bother replacing the seats, just outlaw people from reclining in them. AM I STILL ASLEEP UP HERE IN MY FULLY FLAT BUSINESS CLASS SEAT, IS THIS A SURREAL DREAM???

23 Comments / Post A Comment

jhibbertmd (#13,141)

Speaking as someone who is 6'4", I will physically hold your seat forward as you try to recline back into me. My knees are already pressed into the back of your seat, I don't need you laying in my lap, too.

Hamilton (#122)

I don't know what kind of monster you are, but that story sounds totally correct to me.

jolie (#16)

@Hamilton: With friends like these, who needs editors?

I've always found it completely confusing that Slate, a publication that obsesses about life's minor and inconsequential irritations, is ITSELF a major offender in that category: every time you click over to the next page of an article, it takes you to a full page view and places you back at the top of the page. You lose your place! Heal thyself, SLATE.

Matt (#26)

Is this the Slatest Slate post ever posted to Slate? Sure, why the hell not.

jolie (#16)

@oudemia Was Slate the place that loathsome demi-provocateur Scocca published his onion sautéing exposé? Or was it Salon? (I have a total block when it comes to telling those two apart.) Because if so, I'd like to submit it for consideration here.

oudemia (#177)

@jolie Oh god, the onions. Touché. And were they the grapefruit people, too?

@oudemia I hold the grapefruit piece to at least have been an entertaining study of one woman's descent into madness.

jolie (#16)

@happymisanthrope The SEO work on the onions piece is my favorite thing about it.

deepomega (#1,720)

What he doesn't seem to realize is that if everyone reclines, then everyone has the same amount of space as before, at a more comfortable angle. Geometry!

NinetyNine (#98)

@deepomega "And soon the reclining has cascaded like rows of dominos to the back of the plane, where the poor bastards in the last row see their personal space reduced to about a cubic foot."

Reading Comprehension!

deepomega (#1,720)

@NinetyNine Yes, you're right, clearly Dan is all worked up about the people in the back row of the plane.

jolie (#16)

@deepomega Your heightest bias is showing.

NinetyNine (#98)

@deepomega Cool Burn…

Notice

deepomega (#1,720)

@jolie You don't curl up into a fetal position on the seat?

mcx (#108,125)

@deepomega Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. Obviously you've never flown while tall. Being reclined upon reduces my knee space, but my reclining does not increase it. Besides, what kind of a solution is it that requires people to go along with a domino effect of selfishness in order to maintain their prescribed level of comfort?

jolie (#16)

@deepomega Generally I just cram myself into the overhead bin, where us short folk rightly belong. I know my place.

Lockheed Ventura (#5,536)

Spirit Airlines no longer allows for a seat to recline in coach.

petejayhawk (#1,249)

@Lockheed Ventura The correct answer is, "never fly Spirit Airlines."

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