Wednesday, February 6th, 2013

Obama Hires Hiking Store Lady (Oil Executive/Corporate Banker) As Interior Secretary

This is the "climbing room" of the Portland REI Starbucks.President Obama has been in a little bit of trouble lately for not having enough women and minorities in his cabinet. It's too bad he doesn't just point to himself and say, "Did you notice I'm a minority? Presidents used to own people who looked like me, until very recently, in geologic time." But instead, Obama is diligently trying to find women and minorities in their various habitats, such as corporate boardrooms.

Sally Jewell, a former oil company official and corporate banker, seems like the perfect candidate to protect our public lands from the greed and destruction of oil companies and Wall Street. But her business experience is not just about the profitable extraction of fossil fuels from our planet and the monetization of everything. She is also the chief executive of Recreational Equipment Inc., or REI, the expensive outdoor gear chain that allows wealthy screenwriters to wander New York City or Santa Monica dressed like they're climbing boulders at Joshua Tree or Yosemite.

Environmentalists had hoped Obama would pick a dedicated public official with a history of green action for this "liberal second term," with many pushing for Congressman Raul Grijalva, an Arizona Democrat and Latino with a strong record in environmental policy, a "natural" favorite for taking over from outgoing Interior Secretary Ken Salazar, an actual corporate rancher who even wears a moronic cowboy hat and bolo tie.

Luckily, Sally Jewell has also won various "conservation awards," so there is more to her than just another Mobil executive given control of Western public lands. Let's hope she allows widespread fracking on public lands in a way that doesn't make Republicans think she's an eco-terrorist.

13 Comments / Post A Comment

freetzy (#7,018)

If you become a member of REI, they at least give you some of the money back on what you spent.

BadUncle (#153)

@freetzy You mean a co-op? Like those hippies have for food in Brooklyn? Sounds suspiciously socialist, to me.

whizz_dumb (#10,650)

Chalk me up as a pro-Raul Grijalva person, based on appearance alone. I mean look at the guy, I think if were to date his hypothetical daughter, I'd want to marry her after meeting him so I could join his family.

Werner Hedgehog (#11,170)

REI is great. It's less expensive if you are a member, they have informative lectures about wildlife and training for various outdoor activities, service shops for bikes &c., they help organize volunteer wilderness preservation activities, and the employees know their shit.

my_piru (#13,158)

@Werner Hedgehog why the FUCK are you writing about REI in this thread, though?

whizz_dumb (#10,650)

@Werner Hedgehog less expensive is still really expensive. I walked around looking at price tags and just kept repeating, "For this?", maybe all their stuff is lined with platinum.

banksters (#239,738)

@my_piru I smell a REI shill…

sigerson (#179)

Ha! You said "wealthy screenwriter"!

cherrispryte (#444)

I …. this seems wrong and bad, right? I'm super pro-lady, obviously, but maybe we could have found a lady without ties to oil companies?

Pandemic Endemic (#3,825)

As a native Pacific Northwesterner who grew up volunteering at the original flagship REI store, I was very excited to hear this news!

I think it's like if whomever runs the Park Slope Co-op became head of USDA or FDA, it would be a big freakin' deal to New Yorky people.

Vulpes (#946)

Ah, I was waiting for someone to tell me this was another betrayal and disappointment by Obama. Because he is morally weak.

burnsgood (#241,457)

Well, at least its in the best interest of her and REI to keep our national nature preserves. My buddy Nasir will be pleased.

banksters (#239,738)

Damn, I was hoping he would pick Charles Barkley.

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