Tuesday, February 19th, 2013

Burger King Twitter Outrage Caps 60 Years Of Awful Burger King Commercials

As you may have seen on Twitter yesterday, Burger King was either sold to McDonald's or taken over by crazy people. Both would be an improvement, as Burger King has a reputation as "the fast food that even fast-food lovers don't like at all." There has always been something off about this hamburger franchise business, especially the marketing. That's why cynical people looked at the supposed hacking of @BurgerKing and figured it was just another desperate try to get anyone to care about the perennial No. 2 hamburger brand.

Having utterly failed to accidentally make a creepy red-and-yellow male harlequin like Ronald McDonald, Burger King's vulture capital owners in the 2000s created an intentionally disturbing human mascot called "The King." People with tattoos on their necks were apparently won over by this thing, until the Great Recession made all these people unemployed. When Burger King was sold yet again, in 2010, the new owners (an investment group in Brazil) killed "The King" and fired the advertising agency that created this abomination.

A typically crappy Burger King ad, this one made poor use of a then-popular African-American singer, who would explain to the white people what was involved in making a repulsive concoction of breaded chicken waste, corn syrup sauces and a tortilla of some kind. And all the marketing money was wasted, as the commercial was pulled after complaints of "black people and fried chicken" racism.

The company's advertisements are also horrible in England.

What cut-rate animation studio made this piece of horse shit?

"Sir Shake-a-lot," from the days when it was still "okay" to mock those struggling with Parkinson's Disease. This was reportedly Rush Limbaugh's favorite commercial.

This one from 1978 featured yet another flop character, the "Duke of Doubt," who now presides over a misogyny-based online skeptic forum.

This rare footage from Studio 54 involved the consumption of more than 7 kilograms of cocaine.

That this commercial aired within months of the "Duke of Doubt" spots is nothing less than a corporate cry for help.

In an era of vaguely hippie/integrated singers doing corporate themes for the Now People—Coca-Cola's "I'd Like To Teach the World To Sing" set the template in 1971—Burger King's agency contributed the bizarre "Have It Your Way" campaign. It was catchy, so it was used to death, and by the late 1970s was better known for the Saturday Night Live parody commercial than the actual spots featuring blow-dried leisure-suited dads and moms bewildered by a new way of life: your inedible assburger could also be purchased without the pickles!

15 Comments / Post A Comment

hershmire (#233,671)

Onion rings. They have onion rings.

jolie (#16)

@hershmire BK's Chicken McNuggets are seriously way better than McDonald's. Which doesn't stop me from calling them "BK's Chicken McNuggets" but still.

CraisinHell_a (#238,657)

It *seemed* like they tasted more grilled? Til I learned about those char marks that are "inked" onto the patties. But my tastebuds remained convinced, what I was eating appropriated more hot-off-the-smokin'-grill flavor, even if that was because Flavor-Injected Enhancers.

@CraisinHell_a That shit burns my throat and makes me cough blood. Do like the onion rings, though.

GailPink (#9,712)

I think I would still enjoy a Whopper if I were to find one in front of me.

Brunhilde (#1,225)

I liked the Big Huck'n Chicken commercial.

areaderwrites (#592)

I had blocked out the whole "pickles lettuce/don't upset us" stanza of the BK 70s jingle, so *thanks* for that…

Lockheed Ventura (#5,536)

This was posted hours ago, but the the last three video links are still wrong. Two are at least Burger King related, but how did you manage to include the Obama singing "Call Me Maybe" video?

You are being PAID to do this right? Or is this some sort of Community Service obligation?

@Lockheed Ventura I read this just after 11am EST and all the links were correct and they still are.

Lockheed Ventura (#5,536)

@My Number Is My Address From my Safari Browser, there are links that have no relation to the comments and a link to "Call Me Maybe" featuring Obama.

ericdeamer (#945)

@Lockheed Ventura First of all, they're "embedded" in the post so they aren't really "links" right? Second of all, I looked at this multiple times to test your hypothesis and at no point were there any unrelated videos anywhere in the post and certainly no Obama "Call Me Maybe" videos. Maybe the problem is that Safari Browser of yours. Google probably makes embedded YouTube clips work badly with other browsers to force you to use Chrome or something.

@Lockheed Ventura Yeah, I'm on Chrome.

Rev. Alex Cline (#5,867)

@Lockheed Ventura I can't see the right ones either, though a look at the embed tags in the page source indicates that the videos are in fact different…

ejcsanfran (#489)

That guy in the last ad orders "Two Whoppers and two Whopper Juniors." Shouldn't that be "Whoppers Junior"?

PoignancySelz (#238,693)

There was a line from a punk/college radio song that went:
"the burger king is dead and they ground up his head"
Somewhere on some mix tape.

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