Monday, February 11th, 2013

Farewell To Our Beloved Nazi Pope

Santa Pope will still be seeing you on Christmas Eve, in your nightmares.For the first time since the Middle Ages, the bishop of Rome is quitting rather than let God decide when it's time for a new pope. Let's celebrate the remarkable career of Joseph Benedict, a lowly Nazi who somehow ended up presiding over the Catholic Church's global sex-abuse coverup and its 21st century jihad against gay people.

The Pope's leadership of 1.2 billion Catholics has been beset by child sexual abuse crises that tarnished the Church, one address in which he upset Muslims and a scandal over the leaking of his private papers by his personal butler.

The last time a pope punked out, it was in the year 1415—a magical time when there were two popes, one in France at a very fancy castle and another in Rome. Before that, there was the famous quitting of Celestine V in 1294. Celestine was a character in Dante's The Divine Comedy.

Pope Benedict XVI, as Ratzinger was known on Twitter, plans to spend more time with his nonexistent family and children.

14 Comments / Post A Comment

BadUncle (#153)

There should be term limits on spiritual monarchs. Leaving aside his legacy of failure, Ratzy is incapable of dealing with the complex, global social issues that could use a little more kindness, and a little less horse whip. The womynz, the geighz and the poorz are not going away.

@BadUncle The Church of England has term limits for Archbishop of Canterbury.

This message brought to you by the Anglican Communion: All the Hats and Half the Hate!

Astigmatism (#1,950)

@My Number Is My Address *Offer not available in Uganda.

BadUncle (#153)

@My Number Is My Address And if they don't get a relatively young, charismatic leader, modernity is going to force the second Reformation. The Church can either be advocate for scripture, or a vehicle of social control, but not both.

Bittersweet (#765)

@My Number Is My Address I wish I could give this comment more likes. I'll see if there's a suitable prayer of thanksgiving somewhere in the BCP.

@Astigmatism That would be the other half…

areaderwrites (#592)

Sploid, how I miss you.

Yamara (#9,395)

No pope, radio.

Lcanon (#240,865)

The Herbert Hoover of Popes.

sox (#652)

Thank you Ken Layne for that photo. Because I never actually wanted to sleep again.

Goto Tengo@facebook (#232,749)

He has to give up the hat, but his face gets to keep the "Imperial March" music cues.

Ham Snadwich (#11,842)

Worst Santa Claus ever.

Alex Pieske (#4,852)

He was not a Nazi. I'm not a fan of his, or even Catholic, but if you follow your own link you will see that membership in the Hitler Youth was compulsory, he was never a member of the Nazi party, and his family opposed Hitler.

ucsdresearch (#241,823)

@Alex Pieske – why stop at the one NAZI PEDO POPE?
Bavarian Ratzinger, son of an anti-Nazi police officer (retired, 1937), turned 14 in 1941. As required by law joined the Hitler Youth. In 1943, at the age of 16, Ratzinger was, along with the rest of his class, drafted into the Flak. No objections. In 1945, Ratzinger was held in an Allied POW camp, where he attended de-Nazification classes.
In 1958 Karol Wojtyla became Poland's youngest bishop and after Pope John Paul I's mysterious death, the Zyklon-B salesman was elected to the papacy as Pope John Paul II in October 1978.

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