Monday, January 14th, 2013

Victoria Grayson's Unfortunate History As A Hamptons Hostess, In Chronological Order

• Last night's Charity Wine Auction: Two guests kidnapped from elevator as they're leaving the party.

• Liberty Project benefit dinner: Wife of a Supreme Court nominee reveals to assembled guests that her husband beats her, is crooked judge.

• Thanksgiving dinner: Victoria discloses to guests that at age 15 she was forced to shoot a man and take the blame for his death.

• Second wedding to Conrad: Groom toted off by police during the reception.

• Baby shower: Pregnant guest of honor goes over staircase railing.

• Fire + Ice engagement party: Party marred by discovery of dead body on the beach outside, son wandering around, bloody and dazed, near the corpse. Also tacky invitations.

• Birthday clambake for son: Son's gun-toting psychopathic ex-college roommate enters with the birthday cake.

• Holds invalid houseguest captive in her home.

• Her and Conrad's 25th wedding anniversary dinner party: Five guests, all of whom have stormed off or excused themselves from the table before end of first course.

• Mother-daughter charity luncheon: Luncheon of Hampton ladies is halted when a video is played with clips of highly fraught moments from everyone's therapy sessions: "How can I explain to my husband that I slept with his sister!”

• Fundraiser for Senator Tom Kingsly: As the senator is starting his speech, his pregnant mistress shows up, and senator abruptly announces his "retirement from public life."

• Memorial Day charity art auction: Sells Van Gogh given to her by her best friend, exiles best friend from the Hamptons forever.

(Inspiration hat tip.)

6 Comments / Post A Comment

Emma Garman (#12,303)

This is literally the greatest thing ever. "Also tacky invitations" is hilarious on several levels, one being that in Victoria's mind, dead body/son suspected of murder/entertaining accoutrements not being up to snuff are moral and emotional equivalents.

laurel (#4,035)

The consistency and brutality of Revenge's event catastrophes are second only to those of The Vampire Diaries. If invited do not attend!

dekko (#3,027)

As much as I love this, wasn't it Emily's wine auction? I think Victoria was just hanging out there, she can't take the blame for the planning of that. Just everything else.

downthehatch (#240,833)

@dekko Yes, the Wine Auction Emily hosted. Emily/Nolan/Aiden set up the "kidnapping" in the Elevator.

Carrie Frye (#9,863)

@dekko Oy, you're right! (I was confused by Victoria's consulting with her about inviting that Grayson Global rival.)

anokhi (#231,793)

Conflagration + Frost encounter shindy: Celebration marred by breakthrough of lifeless bulk on the ground extrinsic, boy rambling proximate, murderous further woozy, near the carcass. Moreover tasteless requests. fireworks

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