Tuesday, January 15th, 2013

Where Is This "Mali" Where Frenchmen Are Having Wars?

So this cartoon was about the French colonial military in the Sahara somewhere, apparently?Lately there has been a lot of confusing stuff in the news about "Mali," and also "France having a war." What is going on? Didn't France lose the war in North Africa, maybe in the 1950s? Also, Vietnam, remember that whole deleted scene from Apocalypse Now, the way the French colonials ate their food, while Vietnamese were getting killed by Robert Duvall? Is he French? And where is this Mali, anyway?

We don't want you to have to go around feeling like an idiot all the time, so here's the information you need to deal with any offhand references to "the French war in Mali," in case you know somebody who works on the copy desk of the New York Times or something: Mali is a landlocked country in West Africa. There have been many coups there. (Coup is even a French word, so you could say, "They had it coming!") The ancient city of Timbuktu is in Mali, and it was once ruled by the Tuareg, which is now a brand of Volkswagen SUV. Mali is arid in the north and less so in the south. In conclusion, Mali is a land of contrasts.

Oh it's right there by those other countries!

9 Comments / Post A Comment

Mali is Niger with its sail going the other way but if you cut off the sail and give it to Al Qaeda then Mali becomes an upside-down Burkina Faso.

theheckle (#621)

@My Number Is My Address Just wait until the wind shifts. I don't think Niger has the skill to take advantage.

Cinjun (#11,921)

That last half para sounds just like it came out of those viral "worst student papers" listicles – bravo.

PoignancySelz (#238,693)

Terrorist Muslims?? Why isn't Obama sending troops? He's in over his head. Trying to dismantle the 2nd Amendment.

r&rkd (#1,719)

Absolutely. Brilliant. Thank you.

TheRtHonPM (#10,481)

@PoignancySelz With all the unilateral wars on terror and massive demonstrations against gays, are France and the US friends again?

Mr. B (#10,093)

This almost, but not quite, qualifies for the #SERVICEY tag.

Multiphasic (#411)

Mali was actually unusually constitutionally stable for a postcolonial arbitrary tribesmoosh of a country for about 20 years before everything went to crap in 2012. Nigeria taking a lead role in stabilization efforts is hi-fucking-larious.

French sending troops to Mali is so bittersweet. Why can't Mali –he said in his best African expat voice — handle their own shit?! That having been said, the French are doing the right thing … for now. What they do when/if they win to the Mali economy is up in the air.

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