Trinidad James, "All Gold Everything": The Suggested Remixes

Are you up on Trinidad James? He’s a new rapper out of Atlanta that everyone’s talking about. Above, the charming video for his hit single, “All Gold Everything.” I like how he’s dressed up like Jimi Hendrix. (Between Wiz Khalifa, Andre 3000 and now Trinidad James, Hendrix’s rock-n-roll pirate style is enjoying a bigger moment in hip-hop than it ever has before, I think.) I also like how he’s holding a puppy. (“It’s a baby dog and we’re really just chilling,” he explained to Complex. “I want people to always feel like, ‘I can chill with this nigga. He cool. If he can chill with a dog, I can chill with him.'”) He has another song called “The Turn Up,” which I like to think was originally titled “The Turnip.” Which is a joke I heard first from Chairman Dntsqz on Twitter. And another Chairman, Mao of the ego trip collective, made a good one reflecting the attitude of quadragenerians who like rap: “All Old Everything,” he said. This got me to thinking (if you can call it that) of potential remixes for “All Gold Everything.” If you really have absolutely nothing better to do with your day today (which is likely, considering human existence, and the rain) you’re welcome to read them.

1) “All Mold Everything (Bachelor Pad Fridge Mix)”

2) “All Bold Everything (Page Six Mix)”

3) “Paul Told Everything (Christ’s Apostle Mix)”

4) “Sol Sold Everything (Lower East Side Optician Mix)”

5) “All Ye Old Everything (Brooklyn Artisanal Culture Mix)”

6) “I’ll Fold Everything (Marital Argument About Who’s Going To Do The Laundry Mix)”

7) “Fall Cold Everything (Chicken Soup-n-Nyquil Mix)”

8) “Tall Cold Everything (16-ounce Silver Bullet Mix)”

9) “Stall, Hold Everything (Procrastination Mix)”

10) “Y’all Poled Everything (Karl Rove Acceptance of Reality Mix)”

11) “Call Fooled Everything (Australian DJ Prank Call Remorse Mix)”

12) “Fail LOL’d Everything (Buzzfeed Tag Mix)”