Car Commercial Perplexing, Disturbing

A lonely rich woman checks Facebook on her iPad. She sees that Maroon 5 singer Adam Levine is having a Christmas party. This very night! She apparently doesn’t know Adam Levine. At least, not well enough to be friends with him (yet!) on Facebook. But she gets a devilish idea, and imagines herself crashing the party and cackling maniacally. She goes and changes out of her house clothes into a fancy dress and a Nefertiti necklace and puts her hair up and drives to the party, fast. Alone in the car, she practices making the facial expressions she hopes will help her get in to the party. (Since she doesn’t know Adam Levine, she is unaware of the numerous women he has DEFINITELY MURDERED IN HIS BASEMENT TORTURE MAZE.) When she arrives at the party, which is in the Philip Johnson Glass House, way, way overstrewn with Christmas lights, she realizes she should not have gotten so dressed up—Adam Levine has not even bothered to shave. But she does the fake smiling that she practiced on the way there and catches Adam Levine’s eye and they go outside, in the snow, to talk. He fake-smiles at her, too. (DON’T GO DOWN TO THE BASEMENT, LADY!)

“This December, remember: What starts with adding a friend could end with adding a close friend,” says an announcer.

They are going to have sex, the woman and Adam Levine. Maybe they will get married. And so she is… happy? No, clearly, she still feels cold and empty inside.

The name of the commercial is “Friend.”

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