For Some Reason We Are Starting To Care About The Trash Can Known As The Moon

The wonderful news that NASA is deliberately crashing two space probes into the moon is tempered somewhat by the fact that this is actually an attempt to be a more careful steward of that useless satellite’s surface. While we have been using the moon as a garbage dump for years—because that’s the only thing it’s good for—now the agency is concerned that the junk we quite rightly chuck onto that stupid rock might “come to rest in a historically significant place, like on Neil Armstrong’s footprints.” You can IMAGINE how I feel about that. PAVE THE WHOLE GODDAMN THING ALREADY.