Thursday, December 13th, 2012
4

A Christmas Gift For The Foodie You Inexplicably Associate With

Do you have a self-described "foodie" in your life who you have somehow thus far managed to not strangle? Are you, in fact, close enough to this self-described "foodie" that, even though the mixture of pity and humiliation you feel for both the person in question and yourself for having continuous contact is extremely high, you exchange holiday gifts with them? Perhaps this year, instead of an extra-sharp knife that you hope they will accidentally cut themselves with, putting an end to it all and sparing you the future indignity of still consorting with someone who does not even understand that they should have already expired from shame for describing themselves as a "foodie," you could get them a book, which might keep them quiet for awhile, and at the very least will result in fewer Instragrammed photos of place-settings in your email. Here are some recommendations.

4 Comments / Post A Comment

BoHan (#29)

I just love the passive-aggressive Choire negs.

Vera Knoop (#2,167)

Dull knives are far more dangerous.

deepomega (#1,720)

Give them the gift of another word to use besides "foodie."

Turboslut (#1,036)

Don't ever change, Balk.

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