Did you get your Hurricane Sandy mementos yet? A whimsical “I survived Hurricane Sandy” mousepad is one of many excellent ideas floating around, post-storm, and we have gathered a few others you might want to implement immediately:
- Marathon contestants are welcome, but during the run they must wear BabyBjörns filled with supplies to be delivered door-to-door along the route.
- Outlawed giant soda cups can be used to scoop dead baby rats from your drinking water.
- Paul Ryan, who seems like he needs something to do this weekend, can bench press old people back and forth to their apartments.
- Time for zombie cosplay! Get 10,000 of your friends to fill a tunnel, like in The Stand or something. Halloween is rescheduled!
- Somebody on the radio said a lot of leafy produce would “go to landfills.” Do one of those pop-up salad restaurants, at a landfill. Help the Staten Island economy!
- Make a video of yourself telling jokes in an empty room and send it to Hollywood talent scouts, with the claim that you were “a guest on Letterman during the hurricane.”
- Use this crisis-generated moment of community friendliness to start a walking club. Hey, you have to walk for miles and miles anyway. Might as well call it a club.
- Try to get a flight and then try to get to the airport, so you can go somewhere else for a while. You could also walk to California, with this guy.