Tuesday, November 27th, 2012
27

Airlines, By Level of Evil

Midway upon the journey of our life, I found myself within a forest dark, For the straight foreward pathway had been lost ....
10. Southwest

9. Virgin Atlantic

8. Frontier

7. Alaska

6. JetBlue

5. American

4. Continental

3. Delta

2. U.S. Airways

1. Northwest

666. United

Photo by Nicola.

27 Comments / Post A Comment

deepomega (#1,720)

United once literally lost their database entry showing I had a ticket on their flight, which made it real weird when I asked up with a print out of my confirmation.

Northwest is so evil it is undead.

hershmire (#233,671)

Nazi Airways strangely absent from list.

TheRtHonPM (#10,481)

@hershmire Lufthansa is actually pretty good.

Matt (#26)

That this is the only post tagged #666 is as good an indication as any that this web site never really spoke to me in the first place.

Brunhilde (#1,225)

And of course United is the only airline that goes to the tiny two-gate airports around my hometown.

skahammer (#587)

Guess I'm flying Air America from now on. I'll just squeeze in between the gunnysacks of uncut opium base.

BadUncle (#153)

I disagree with Southwest's position. The whole first-come / first-served sectional seat scramble is, at best, annoying.

deepomega (#1,720)

@BadUncle More or less annoying than bag fees?

@BadUncle Seriously. The first time I flew Southwest it wasn't until everyone was lining up that it dawned on me that there is NO ASSIGNED SEATING. It is the Greyhound of flying.

jfruh (#713)

@BadUncle I'm always fascinated by people's reaction to the seat scramble. Personally, I don't mind it, though since I fly out of BWI and thus have direct SW flights to just about anywhere, I have a good incentive not to. Plus, the staff at SW are generally so much more pleasnt than the staff at the old majors, and are so radically less likely to fuck things up, that I feel it more than evens things out.

It is worth noting that the reason behind the cattle-car seating is that it gets people on the plane more quickly. In fact, most things Southwest does different from other airlines are intended to cut down on turnaround times, which cost money, since they represent time not spent in the air. That goes for bag fees too — they aren't letting you check bags free out of the goodness of their hearts, they're doing it because any money you get charging for bags is offset by money wasted sitting on the tarmac waiting for everyone to cram their enormous suitcases into the overhead bins.

barnhouse (#1,326)

@jfruh agreed. I quite enjoy the no-muss no-fuss Southwest approach. Plus the flight attendant's spiel at the beginning once included the phrase, "in the unlikely event of a water landing, small children may be used as a flotation device." Can't beat that.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

"FLY BRANIFF. IT'LL HELP YA LIVE A BETTER LIFE."

keisertroll (#1,117)

Every time I fly Oceanic they either get hijacked or crash.

deepomega (#1,720)

That said, can't we all agree that Event Horizon Airlines should be 666?

Tuna Surprise (#573)

American at number 5? American is unsure whether it's still an airline. It seems on the verge of just stopping midflight and giving up on the whole flying thing.

@Tuna Surprise It always wanted to be a magazine publisher anyway.

Spirit is somewhere between Northwest and United.

hockeymom (#143)

Con Air.

Ryan-Fecking-Air

dado (#102)

One time a I had take a connecting flight out of Little Rock on Lincoln Air. While milling around the terminal looking for a gate a guy with a beard and overalls walked up to me and said "Hey there, are you Dado?" I said I was and he said "Great! I'm Lincoln!" And away we flew.

JennyBeans (#7,034)

I don't care if it's efficient. The lack of assigned seating on Southwest makes me crazy. They sponsor my nonprofit, so I have to fly them. I have been tempted to pay for airline tickets on other airlines out of my own pocket just to avoid them. I hate it so so much. Mostly I hate how it makes all humans, ever, act like idiots and/or assholes.

PoignancySelz (#238,693)

What, no USAF?

Mr. B (#10,093)

Good god, which translation of Dante is that?

petejayhawk (#1,249)

Frontier's rape and pillage of Midwest Airlines should land them much higher on this list.

Matt Cornell (#8,797)

Southwest deserves a higher placement on this list. BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING INFLIGHT COMEDY ROUTINES.

Cogwheel (#8,960)

When Continental was bought out by United, I died a little. I swear they did it just to destroy a competitor who made them look bad…

Post a Comment