Soundtrack To A Hermaphrodite Snail Orgy

“They have orgies. I’m serious. When they mate, they’re connecting male and female, female and male.”
Mary Stewart farms snails in Northern California and knows lots about them. They are hermaphrodites, for example, and, as part of their mating ritual, they shoot each other with sharp “love darts” that inject a mucous chemical into the female reproductive system that allows more snail sperm to find purchase. Mary says the darts are very painful for humans, and they appear to be painful for snails, too. As The McGill Tribune‘s Ian Popple reported in 2002, “Copulating snails are commonly seen jostling in an attempt to hit but not be hit” by the love darts. Here is a ten-song soundtrack for an S&M orgy at a snail ranch.