Not Rich? You Just Don't Yell and Threaten Enough


When [Ken] Feinberg finally came back to him with a plan that dictated, among other things, that AIG slash salaries by 91 percent for its top dozen executives and pay all bonuses in stock, [Bob] Benmosche called him, pissed. “You said you weren’t going to fuck it up,” he yelled. “And you are fucking it up!” PricewaterhouseCoopers, he told him, was threatening to sound alarms over the company’s inability to retain employees, and now four key people were threatening to walk. “He said, ‘Robert! I am not your problem.’ I said, ‘Ken, you are the pay czar.’ And he said, ‘I am telling you I am not your problem. Figure it out.'”…. Feinberg was surprised by the argument they put forth—that it was okay for the taxpayer to invest in AIG stock, but they could not pay AIG employees with it because AIG employees thought it was worthless—but agreed to revise the plan. They left Washington with a new plan, which included a multimillion-dollar stock-and-salary package for Benmosche, which also allowed him to keep his stock in MetLife and limited personal use of the corporate aircraft.

Now you can learn all the secrets of AIG’s comeback and enrichening schemes! Well, “secret.” It’s just be a huge dick about everything (and do some insane accounting and quiet selling-off, basically).