Football Pick Haikus For Week 5

Thursday, October 4

Arizona -1.5 At St. Louis

The Cardinals still are
Undefeated but seem ripe
For a huge letdown. PICK: RAMS

Sunday, October 7

Atlanta -3 At Washington

Matty Ryan used
to bull’s-eye womp rats in his
T-16 back home. PICK: FALCONS

At Pittsburgh -3.5 Philadelphia

Michael Vick is one
Sack away from becoming
A McRib Sandwich. PICK: STEELERS

Green Bay -7 At Indianapolis

Colts coming off a
Bye week rested and ready
To keep this game close. PICK: COLTS

At NY Giants -8.5 Cleveland

If the Giants lose
To the Cleveland Browns fans might
Start a Tebow chant. PICK: BROWNS

At Minnesota -5.5 Tennessee

Christian Ponder sounds
like the part of sex where you
stop a while and pray. PICK: VIKINGS

At Cincinnati -3.5 Miami

Miami plays well
enough to lose each game at
the very last minute. PICK: BENGALS

Baltimore -6 At Kansas City

“It’s a Trap!” says the
Great Admiral Akbar. Bad
week to be Big Bird. PICK: CHIEFS

At Carolina -3 Seattle

Admire Seahawks’
pass rush, but Cam Newton gets
to third on first dates. PICK: PANTHERS

Chicago -6 At Jacksonville

Chicago’s defense
Will get tired catching all
Those interceptions. PICK: BEARS

At New England -6.5 Denver

Peyton Manning shows
up naked in Tom Brady’s
Giselleless nightmares. PICK: BRONCOS

At San Francisco -10 Buffalo

Take the points, bettors!
Niners won’t shut out the
Hirsute Harvard Hucker. PICK: BILLS

At New Orleans -3.5 San Diego

Winless Saints welcome
The only coach in the league
Who’s worse than their coach. PICK: SAINTS

Monday, October 8

Houston -8 At NY Jets

When you boo or chant
“We Want Tebow,” Jets’ fans, the
whole world shrugs at you. PICK: TEXANS

Haiku Picks went 8-7 last week. That’s 28-34-1. Not good enough! All of this week’s picks were drawn at random from a cap!


Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.