Thursday, June 14th, 2012
9

Penisless Spiders, Hip-hop Artists Fight Over Women

"The eunuch males are better fighters because they are lighter and they have an increased endurance. They try to prevent the other males from mating with the female."
National University of Singapore arachnologist Daiqin Li discusses his findings that male spiders castrate themselves after sex with females in order to better fight off rival suiters. This contradicts the recent findings of Matjaz Kuntner of the Slovenian Academy of Sciences. (And makes me a little worried about the lengths the two competing professors might go to in defense of their theories.) Also, last night at the Manhattan Club The Greenhouse, Chris Brown sent a bottle of champagne to a table where Drake and his pals were sitting, apparently to let him know that he had no hard feelings about the fact that Drake has been seeing his former girlfriend Rihanna. Drake reportedly sent a note back that said, "I'm fucking the love of your life, deal with it." Then they got in a fist fight during which Chris Brown was hit in the face with a bottle.

9 Comments / Post A Comment

deepomega (#1,720)

Um, if he got hit in the face with a bottle, it was definitely a BOTTLE-fight. #corrections.

Danzig! (#5,318)

Wait, I thought spiders had cloaca / internal genitalia.

Taking a course at the Natural History Museum about spider biology was the best alternative to Summer camp I ever experienced. The one thing I remembered (besides the live jumping spider mating dances they projected from a petri dish) was how to tell the sex of a spider – males have distinctive "Pom Pom" front legs that serve as vestigial penises – they ejaculate on them and then essentially fist the females. Are those what they remove?

Dave Bry (#422)

@Danzig! Sounds like it, yes. "Palps" is the word the Discovery article uses.

So I guess my usage of "penisless" in the headline is (while technically still accurate!) misleading. Sorry. That sounds like a fascinating course. I love watching jumping spiders do their mating dance.

Danzig! (#5,318)

@Dave Bry Little spider jazz hands!

But no, I wasn't correcting (obv did not read the article before posting, bad habits die hard)! Nature is weird and terrifying. Doubly so when it comes to insects and spiders. It's fucked up, really.

camelface (#4,600)

Could this be considered America's first high-profile glassing?

Bittersweet (#765)

@camelface All the big trends from Knifecrime Island are bound to make it over here eventually.

Koko Goldstein (#234,489)

@Bittersweet

It's the stabbiest place on earth!

Ham Snadwich (#11,842)

Well, as long as Chris Brown got hit in the face. That's all that really matters.

riotnrrd (#840)

As if starring "Battleship" wasn't bad enough, now she has to sleep with Drake? When will Rihanna's suffering end?

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