Tuesday, March 27th, 2012

JFK Airport a Foul Nest of Luggage Thieves, Claims Random Dude

CBS New York News—that's the TV station that didn't employ Sue Simmons—is going big on how JFK airport is a hotbed of thefts in checked luggage. Their claim: there are 200 thefts a day, every day, from checked bags: "Baggage handlers, jetway workers and even security people are all in on the ongoing scam to steal you blind," is what they're screaming. Their big money quote is from "JFK security lawyer Kenneth Mollins." Did you know there was a kind of lawyer who was a "JFK security lawyer"? That seems unusual! Actually, Kenneth Mollins is a "personal injury attorney." He once:

• represented a client who sued American Airlines because there were maybe peanuts on board and her son might have had an allergic reaction.

• represented a woman who was upset because a steam pipe explosion in Manhattan reminded her of 9/11. (Not joking.)

• represented two fellows who had "neck and back pain" after a Black Monday Walmart trampling episode in Long Island.

represented himself when he leased a car and couldn't get the Bluetooth phone system to work properly.

So if you have a claim that seems outrageous and likely unwinnable, we have a lawyer for you! And also when "law enforcement sources" tell CBS New York that 200 thefts a day are occurring at JFK, you might want to consider their sourcing.

11 Comments / Post A Comment

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

That steam pipe explosion was something, though? I was up on the 27th floor a few blocks away, and between the noise and the crowds running in the streets, I can see why someone closer to the event might have really freaked out.

By the way, steam.

BadUncle (#153)

@dntsqzthchrmn Which steampipe explosion? Manhattan streets are like a volcanic chain.

@dntsqzthchrmn Seriously, if it was the one in midtown around 43rd street, it was wild. I had a similar view, but I couldn't see the actual cause of the steam. All that I could see from my vantage were people running uptown on Lex — terrified — and a huge amount of smoke/steam coming from somewhere.

Anyway, to make this long story, longer, I also called Mollins Esq. after this steam pipe blast, in hopes of a quick buck. I described to him what I saw and felt. However, a few weeks later I got served with a Complaint alleging copyright infringement for some goddamn Godzilla movie. Mollins was plaintiff's counsel.

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

@resipsaloquacious That is the one. Thank you for the validation!

BadUncle (#153)

OK, outlandish crime stat aside, WTF do people put in their luggage that's worth stealing? I mean, who would someone's shoes and underwear. Ick.

I dunno, I'd probably call that stat hyperbole rather than outrageous, which makes him the Mike Daisey of JFK. Rather apropos as his legal career seems to be more theater than "factual".

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

@forget it i quit Most legal careers are theater?

My laundry service lost an expensive yoga sock. At last there is someone who can remedy my nightmare!

deepomega (#1,720)

Fortunately, thefts can be stopped by lawyers!

The REAL thief at JFK steals your time.

Keep it up with the mocking, I know a guy who semi-specializes in commenter-libel lawsuits.

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