Tuesday, February 21st, 2012
14

Thirteen Things That Raw Cashew Nuts Look Like, In Order

13) No-frills paisleys

12) Shelled, deveined shrimp

11) New born opossums

10) Old-man toenails (fungus afflicted)

9) Botero nudes

8) Hippopotamus tusks

7) Eagle talons

6) Lion teeth

5) Bison horns (especially when affixed to a fuzzy lodge club hat)

4) Commas

3) Apostrophes

2) Sea otters, floating on their backs, hunching up to open a mollusk, or, when the the sharp little hook that once attached the Cashew nut to the base of its apple is still there, fellating themselves

1) Shmoo



Related: Nuts, In Order

Photo by FotoosVanRobin

14 Comments / Post A Comment

You need to find a better source of shrimp.

Dave Bry (#422)

Better than underneath the Union Street Bridge on the Gowanus Canal?

@Dave Bry Well, that at least explains it, and gets you bonus points for urban foraging (you nut job).

jfruh (#713)

THEY LOOK FUCKING DELICIOUS ASSHOLE

Dave Bry (#422)

And they ARE delicious, jfruh!

Pop Socket (#187)

@jfruh Shmoo are delicious as well.

jfruh (#713)

@Dave Bry Sorry, Dave, I didn't look at the byline on the story! I assumed this was more of Balk's anti-cashew hate speech.

Van Buren Boy (#1,233)

Fetuses

jolie (#16)

Everyone else is imagining Balk just sitting there in a RAGE, right???

hockeymom (#143)

Now I know what/who a Schmoo is.

liznieve (#7,691)

@hockeymom it's also a biological process for yeast reproduction.

whizz_dumb (#10,650)

@hockeymom I was a little hesitant to wiki that at work, but it's totally fine and surprisingly detailed.

BadUncle (#153)

When still attached to the cashew fruit, they look like a portly banana slug with an enormous mandible.

BadUncle (#153)

@BadUncle Here's a photo of these incredibly delicious fruits that even Balk would eat, if they could be shipped.

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