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Thursday, January 19, 2012

19

This Is How the Gossip Blogs Always Let Us Down

Celebrity gossip-monger TMZ deserves a lot of credit for things like straight-up owning the Heather Locklear story (such as it is: it's a wee bit ginned up, the old "actress won't go to rehab, says 'family'" tabloid line). But sometimes they fall down on the job. Take this morning's... news: "Muscle god Chris Hemsworth celebrated the news that his gorgeous wife Elsa Pataky is pregnant with their first child just like anybody else would ... by diving down an inflatable slide off a helicopter-carrying luxury yacht with Matt Damon in St. Barts on Wednesday." Well, there's near identical coverage: Popsugar, Just Jared, The Mirror, The Daily Mail, and everyone else, and by the time you get down to "Celebuzz!" you get "Chris Hemsworth spotted splashing around off the side of his yacht on January 18, 2012 in St Barts." Haha, yeah, Chris Hemsworth has a yacht. Because he's been in an Australian soap opera and like three movies that were released in the U.S. Don't think so. So whose yacht is this, photo-buying gossip-mongers?

You can see the "pb" logo on the side of the boat; you can see the Bahamanian flag; you can start to make out the boat name; it goes something like P L – N – and then presumably there's a B in there as well... It is not on the list of the world's 82 longest yachts, of course, as it's only about 50 meters, and that list bottoms out at 67 meters; it doesn't seem to be on the best charter lists, but... oh ho! Duh! It's the Plan B!

Formerly the HMAS Flinders, a "a hydrographic survey ship of the Royal Australian Navy," then owned by a New Zealander, then sold again to a mysterious owner, a very mysterious owner, one much shrouded in mystery! The rumors were that it was owned by Brad Pitt, since his production company is named Plan B, but that seems terribly unlikely. According to the megayacht message boards, "their is only one owner well i guess there is two if you count his wife and her dog." [uh, sic]

Ownership aside, equally importantly, it also has a submarine, as well as python and chinchilla cushions and the "Japanese symbols for luck and harmony painted onto a hessian background and mounted to the exterior wall of the Main Deck."

19 Comments / Post A Comment

Charismatic Megafauna

Just when I thought I knew how to throw around the word Hessian.

My Number Is My Address

I know all those words yet this post made no sense.

Clare
Clare (#516)

@My Number Is My Address Agreed.

Choire, are you trying to tell us Brad Pitt owns a megayacht?

checkonetwo
checkonetwo (#3,234)

Wouldn't a python pillow be terribly uncomfortable? Well... I suppose I'll never have to find out!

Clarence Rosario

Wait wait wait...inflatable slides like that EXIST?!?!? Why was I not aware of this?

BadUncle
BadUncle (#153)

@Clarence Rosario You don't hang out at Chuck E. Cheese Orlando?

BadUncle
BadUncle (#153)

Well, it surely isn't my vessel, Die Schnitzengrubben. Water slide? Please. My crew ties one end of a zip line to a marlin.

deepomega
deepomega (#1,720)

@BadUncle Have you ever been manta ray wakeboarding? Slippery, but exhilarating.

BadUncle
BadUncle (#153)

@deepomega These are sports for men who don't sail yachts, but astonishingly big man crafts.

sigerson
sigerson (#179)

Don't forget about the dark-stained mahagony gym and massage room - http://www.sdsuperyacht.org/articles/view.cfm?articleid=FC2230A4-D5C0-A133-A206547E0BAE2196

BobL
BobL (#47,604)

OED (Oxford English Dictionary)

1) Plan A, B, C as a series of plans, in order of preference, has been used in English since the 1870s. It appears to be an American invention.

2) Plan B as an alternative course of action (which may or may not exist) when the original strategy failed, has been used since the 1970s.

Brad Pitt may be a good actor, damn handsome and even quite smart but I don't believe he's the only one ever to name something plan B - even if movie stars are seen cavorting about on it.

laurel
laurel (#4,035)

If I was the wife or her dog I'd be a bit embarrassed that my husband could only afford a used ship, one that was built by the government to, ugh, serve a purpose.

deepomega
deepomega (#1,720)

@laurel I only respect men with yachts carved from the petrified corpsea of endangered whales.

bronwyn
bronwyn (#3,351)

Hang on, what NZer owned this super boat with a lovely inflatable slide? I'll ask around, no doubt they are the mother/ex-boss/lover/drinking pal of someone alarmingly close to me, which makes me feel angry I never got to go on the slide.

whizz_dumb
whizz_dumb (#10,650)

Anyone else notice that "gay" is right there sandwiched in the megayacht? No implications, just my juvenile eyes noticing things.

lempha
lempha (#581)

We really need to get "muscle god" into the Times.

gregorg
gregorg (#30)

"We don't discuss owners on YF."

God bless this messageboard and all who dish on her. Yacht outfitters and crew are the Internet's last bulwark of civility and service-minded discretion.

scrooge
scrooge (#2,697)

Boat is registered in Georgetown, Cayman Islands. Obviously belongs to Mitt Romney.

kitekatze
kitekatze (#208,046)

don't forget the obvious omission that Matt Damon and wife was there too! *gasp*

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