"A new drug that could provide new treatment for a range of obesity related disorders without a need to hit the gym has been developed by scientists. Researchers claim to have created the pill, which they claim provides all the same benefits of exercising without the exertion." There are the usual caveats about how the pill is not meant to replace exercise, but hahaha yeah right. The last time you're going to see me exert myself is when I open the top of the bottle. Then it's off to the couch for a leisurely day of "working out."
In the year 2012
Ain't gonna need no gyms, won't need barbells
Everything you lift, pull, or play
Is in the pill you took today
I have no joke to make except to brag that the lab this came out of was my grad school thesis lab (which I haven't actually set foot in in more than 10 years - yes I am old - but whatever).
Ok but come on, no way this thing is gonna work without giving you like brain lesions and anal fissures and impetigo.
@Aloysius no kidding - I can't believe people swallow this crap any more. After the debacle of estrogen replacement therapy, steroids, HGH, fen-phen, etc; is there anyone on earth who still believes that some pill is going to magically fix your aging and body mass issues without side effects?
@Aloysius Hey, who cares about silly little things like heart attacks and anal leakage, when compared with the potential of BEING LESS FAT.
PRIORITIES, PEOPLE!
Until they come up with a smug pill, I'm still going to yoga class.
@NotAndersonCooper Earn that condescending burn.
Will it talk to my wife and kid for me? If not I'll still need to spend most of the day at the gym or jogging or whatever it is I say I'm doing.
@My Number Is My Address Long trips to the pharmacy?
@laurel If it's in smokable form and sold at the same place I return videos then I'm golden.
Creepy cellphone camera guy from the gym has a sad.
Balk, just be sure to augment your workout regimen with plenty of nitrous, for that "runner's high."
@BadUncle Long run with a Camelback full of bourbon.
@SeanP Or as I like to call it "Coma in a Bag."