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I was once walking across 31st Street between 6th and 7th when I heard someone shout at a slow-moving pedestrian ahead of him, in the deeply impatient and grievously inconvenienced tone that is the foundation of the New York City accent, "Lady, ya gotta move!" To my everlasting horror, I suddenly realized that the words were, in fact, coming from my own mouth. There's something very frightening about that loss of control when your inner monologue is given voice. Anyway, things are even worse now. And that lady really did need to move. I mean, come on, it's a goddamn sidewalk. Walk already.
This is important.
New York sidewalks bring out dissociative identity disorder in everyone.
Also- stay in your lanes people.
@zidaane this is the worst of offenses. I can engage in the chicken-egg debate on whether they're so slow because they're fat or they're fat because they're so slow. But fat, slow, and diagonal is unacceptable.
Joggers are the worst. I don't skateboard on the sidewalk so I don't see why they should run there.
Data, people. I want on my desk by Monday a color-coded map of Manhattan showing average pedestrian speeds block by block, hour by hour, month by month. If you can work density in there too, great.
"Lady, ya gotta stop reading your fucking Kindle on the way out of the 23rd St. F station!"
An escalator is not a ride.
@Mr. B see: Ride
I always enjoyed sucking my teeth at people on the subway stairs and then when the person looked back in annoyance, I'd pretend it wasn't me. Now I live in Los Angeles, so I have a handgun in the glove box and cry every morning.
I find that I mostly say thoughts like that out loud when I'm wearing my earbuds. I feel like I'm just saying it in my head but it's coming out my mouth.
Yeah but just think of the dance hall hits that could have been born if someone were sampling you.
I can never stop myself from yelling at sidewalk bike-riders, "Take it to the street, jerk!"
@whizz_dumb see: Michael McDonald
I knew that NYC was beginning to change me when one evening, maybe 5 years ago, I was walking down Smith Street talking to my dad on the phone, when suddenly a car whipped around the corner against the red light and nearly ran me down. Without a second of forethought, I stopped mid-sentence in the phone conversation to scream, "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!" at the top of my lungs, and then immediately went back to talking to my dad as though nothing had happened.
Wow, NY dialect alert: "across" as used in "walking across 31st St between 6th and 7th".