Early Oscar Season Smells Like Barf
What are you going to see at the movies this weekend (if you're not being held all weekend by the LAPD for exercising your First Amendment rights): the one with the dude with the giant schlong or the movie about the girl who gets paid to be unconscious while old dudes fondle her? USA! USA! Or have you seen Melancholia yet? Apart from the first five minutes, which are A+, and maybe the next 45, which are sinisterly hilarious, it's pretty much like these nine things, which include but are not limited to "overdosing on cement mix and diet tonic water" and "listening to a radio play that was originally written in Swedish, then translated into German, and finally into English. In the dark. With a stranger who won’t stop weeping and touching your leg. In a room that smells like cigars." Meanwhile, about an hour ago, people emerged from today's critics' screening of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (But With Extra Rape And In English This Time) and you probably didn't. Someday! Like growing up swishy, December gets better as it merrily rows along. Stay strong! Tinker Tailor Soldier See You Next Weekend I Guess!
I'd personally like to trade The King's Speech to 2011 – for the third Harold and Kumar, maybe? – so that one of the half-dozen movies that actually deserved Best Picture could have won it, and the ossified British costume crap could have justifiably won an Oscar against a basically pitiful field rather than stealing it from something better.
The Rape with the Rapey Rape Rape.
I give it three and a half rapes out of four.
@DoctorDisaster What's a half rape? Just the tip?
@Granger Danger Oh, you know, when it's rape, but not like rape rape.
And here I thought I was the only person who loathed Melancholia! Me, I'll be seeing the movies staring the dude with the giant schlong.
@wb: I think I'm the only person who hated The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo Original Rapey Version.
We Bought a Zoo is about a guy with a giant schlong?
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy looks astoundingly good, and it's gotten great early buzz. It looks like exactly the sort of smart but not boring thriller that always turns out awesome but almost never gets made because we're stupid.
@Megapol Tchotchke That's because it's British. It came out in England back in September. "smart but not boring thriller" translated into Hollywoodese means, "dump it in December as Oscar bait for the snobs when all the rubes are watching football." But yes, it looks fantastic. I just finished the book and if it's half as good, it'll be a blowout come this years Oscars.
@Megapol Tchotchke There's no way Gary Oldman could be anywhere near as good as Alec Guinness was as Smiley, but then again John Hurt is perfect for Control, and Colin Firth is a great choice for Bill Haydon. So yeah, I'll be there.
Still, anyone who likes the book (and good TV) should totally track down the 1979 miniseries. One of the best things the BBC ever did.
Wait, which one is the schlong movie? Damn it, I need to get on the Acadmey's screener mailing list.
I'll be seeing Coriolanus because what's not to love about it?
I liked The Descendants a lot. Mrs. Sigerson was BORED.
We all need to stand behind Melancholia now. All of us. Dissent is not patriotic.
Or blame yourself when the world goes nuts for War Horse.
@richardrushfield War Horse is just an alternate title for I Don't Know How She Does It, right?
@richardrushfield So the 2011 Oscar race is a foreshadowing of the 2012 presidential race?
Moar liek Lars von Tryhard, amirite? On the way to the theater I acted out a gif of Skrillex going spastic and hit my head really hard. That was the high point of the evening.
gif: http://mlkshk.com/r/9VZB