Thursday, December 1st, 2011
18

Churning the 'NYT' Vows Data and the Dangers of Self-Selection

Well, it is fun to run the numbers on exactly what "sort" of person runs a wedding announcement in Vows (technically now called "Weddings/Celebrations," which is so dull). The numbers are useful and also, sure, about what you'd expect. Harvard. Credit Suisse. Gay. That sort of thing. But two things: our trusty researcher friends here are comparing education and job credentials to the "average American," which, oh no. Vows is a section that is for New Yorkers, not average Americans. And New York is a funny place. (Full of gays who went to Harvard.) But then also they're dismissing self-selection in a totally untoward way, writing: "There's also no easy way to rule out a self-selection bias. (Theoretically, 9.4 percent of the people who want to be in the wedding section could have Harvard degrees…)" Um, I would say that that is way more than true? You have to submit to Vows a minimum of six weeks in advance, and the submission form is quite lengthy. In fact, it's so long that as you start to fill it out, you have time to realize that it's all basically for snobby gay a-holes who work at Credit Suisse and then you stop filling it out, if you have any real sense. Once it's like "AND WHAT DOES YOUR FATHER DO FOR A LIVING?" you're like, oh God, who cares, go pound sand. (Seriously, their sample form goes like this: "(first celebrator's) father, who is retired, was a (job title/I.D. here) in (location here) for (company/organization name here). (his/her) mother is a (job title/I.D. here) in (location here) for (company/organization name here)." Which is so LOL! It's like the worst and least-fitting game of Mad Libs ever.) Anyway then you're like "Why do I want stupid people to read about MY SPECIAL DAAAAAY?" and you realize that you'd like to retain some dignity, instead of splashing it in the faux society pages. Besides if you're gay, there's likely another wedding in another state or country coming your way soon, so you can always reapply later. Suckas.

18 Comments / Post A Comment

jolie (#16)

Someone's in a snit because his Vows submission didn't make the cut?

Rosebud (#4,107)

@jolie So, when is he getting married and are we all invited?

@Rosebud And where is he registered? I have the cat toys all picked out.

KenWheaton (#401)

So, in terms of filling out forms, it's like the eHarmony of wedding announcements. (If eHarmony allowed gays)

Flaneur (#998)

Excuse my pedantry: The big feature column was and is called Vows, but the pages of basic announcements were always called Weddings until they were changed to Weddings/Celebrations.

My wife and I made it (back in the dark ages of 2000) without H-Y-P, elite law, investment banking or Greenwich ties. But we're in The Media, and we're black, so.

NinetyNine (#98)

@Flaneur I was hoping there would be a way for someone to top Choire's TO ME post.

Tuna Surprise (#573)

I submitted an application for a friend (she was dying to get in but too humble to submit herself) with the following stats: interracial couple, one a native French speaker, two parents dead from cancer, one parent a doctor, faux-Ivy schooling. I thought this would be a shoo-in but we got bupkis.

deepomega (#1,720)

@Tuna Surprise The thing is, dead from cancer is just a multiplier for the base score of a parent. Still need to be a diplomat or a NYT columnist or whatever.

City_Dater (#2,500)

@SarahHeartburn

The Hugely Famous get a pass on trotting out pedigree and credentials.

Sometimes the Children of the Famous get passed through as well, but only if the Famous Parent(s) is/are still living and will be in a photograph for the Vows column.

@City_Dater In my world, Choire IS hugely famous. Also he has lving cats.

riotnrrd (#840)

@riotnrrd – Huh. I had no idea that she'd resurrected Altarcations under a different name over at Grantland (previously published under nom de Gawker Phyllis Nefler).

gregorg (#30)

also, you have to print your verified age. When we were doing our invites, the stationer lady was so bemused by our apparently entertainingly complicated event strategy that she wanted to pimp us to the Vows columnist. We were both like, "No way, not VOWS!" It's like affirmative action for quaint people.

C_Webb (#855)

I prefer my grandparents' wedding announcement, which made a lower corner of the front page of the Times because micks weren't "society" back then. Headline: "________ of Tammany weds Miss ______" (insert generic irish names).

zidaane (#373)

"We met at Starbucks."

@zidaane Honey, that wouldn't get you into Pennysaver.

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