I Can Not Believe That Story About Pig Wings In Today's Dining Section
"Appert’s gets the fibulas from a plant in Sioux City, Iowa, that separates them from the rest of the shank and cuts some of them into two-ounce portions, using a saw developed by Mr. File. Appert’s workers tumble 2,000-pound batches in a paddle mixer that helps force a marinade of water, salt and 'natural pork flavorings' into the meat."
—Articles about the production processes behind our proud nation's suicidal dietary habits are always fascinating and disgusting. And oftentimes, also, confusingly appetizing. Barbecued "pig wings" sound delicious to me. (Especially the kind with blue cheese in Chicago. Yum! Wait, no, yuck! No, yum!) But the most confounding thing about John T. Edge's reporting about them in today's Dining section is that he somehow got through it without making a "when pigs fly" joke.
Ha! He saved it for Twitter!!
I'm glad he didn't mention Linda McCartney either.
I want to go to Toasty Beaver's now.
“My relatives, my old uncles, they eat foods like shanks,” she said. “They eat brains and other stuff, too. I like these, but shanks sound like those kind of old-fashioned foods.”
I CAN'T STAND KNOWING WHAT I EAT EVEN THOUGH IT'S JUST A PIECE OF MEAT FROM A PIG AND IT TASTES GOOD AAAAAHHHHHHHH
Oh boy, yet another processed food product I'm gonna have to pick up next time I hit Apperts. Their retail outlet is like Restaurant Purgatory: where chain restaurant prefabricated menu items reside before they're sold and eaten.
Honestly, it's simultaneously horrifying and appetizing.
Doesn't the headline: "As tasty morsels, pig wings take flight" sort of wink at that joke?
Maybe a little. But not quite enough. (Enough to satisfy "what" is a different and better question the answer to which I probably don't want to know. My own meshugas, mostly.) But I feel like "wings taking flight" could be a reference to any food product, or any product, really, that involves a "wing" not made for flying. "Wingtip Shoes Take Flight," for example. The most important part of "when pigs fly" is not the wings we might imagine pigs growing so that they could fly, but the fact that they are flying at all. "Bestowed With 'Wings' by the Processed Food Industry, Pigs Finally Fly…" Something like that would have winked hard enough for me.
I just really want to talk about Howard Crabtree's "When Pigs Fly."