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Luxury, Responsibility and the Double-Headed Shower Fixture
Possibly the dual shower head is commonplace place in the wider world, but it’s not in mine. So when I recently encountered one in a hotel-room shower, I found it confusing, and vaguely freakish. I wondered: Is this some thick-headed vision of progress—the same level of “innovation” that answers the three-blade razor with a four-blader? Or is it simply a production error, an industrial design mutant? What I would soon learn is that whatever the original intent, what it had become was, of all things, a moral crossroad.
—Awl pal Rob Walker has to fight the gluttony that lives inside us all… before coffee.
Why doesn't the second shower head strike from below, or from the rear?
@BadUncle One never knows from which direction the strike will come; only that it is inevitable and that one will be alone, naked and helpless when it does.
The current three- and four-blade razors don't match the old double-edged razors in price and quality of shaves. Gillette and Schick are producing substandard products just to get more of your money. Occupy the Bathroom.
@johnpseudonym Personally, I won't shave with anything less than a fully-grown Edwardian-style barber.
@melis I know, I know, The Onion. But this still gets me.
Mr. Burns has one, but they're each on opposite ends of his shower!
If you read the article, there's a sign in the hotel bathroom telling you that you COULD use both heads for ultimate luxury OR you could just use one head and save our precious natural resources. So, I'm thinking that it all exists to provide a way to do the thing that you were already going to do (i.e., shower with just one shower head, because really, who the fuck showers with two immediately adjacent shower heads, why would you even do that) while still feeling smug and green about it.
@jfruh "New eco-friendly cars! Comes with second roof-mounted engine for TURBO MODE, or turn it off for green mode!"
@jfruh – I keep a Hummer parked out front so I can feel even more smug when I drive my Prius to work. I totally *could* drive the Hummer anytime I want. YOU'RE WELCOME.
The two heads are simply to enable fat people to wash the day's mayonnaise drippings encrusted in their jowls and fat rolls.
Double-headed showers are an end-run around water efficiency standards for shower heads. It's the moral equivalent of having the flush the toilet three times because low flow toilets don't clear the bowl.
Note to self: file patent for Gatling shower head.
Where I live now, my shower has seven shower heads: there's a standard one, a "rain shower" one, a hand-held one, and two on each side that give it a festive, car wash vibe. If you are in Chicago, swing by, and I will either say, "We're thinking about putting in a bidet" or "When we moved in there were six, but we cut one off and two more grew in its place." Anyway!