Do You Have Garbage Taste in Music? A Quiz
1) Who is your favorite Beatle?
A) John: +0 points. B) Paul: +1 point. C) Ringo: +0 point. D) George: +5 points.
2) Who is your favorite musical Jackson?
A) Michael Jackson: +0 points. B) Janet Jackson: +0 points. C) Wanda Jackson: +0 points. D) Jackson Browne: +5 points.
3) How many members of the Indigo Girls can you name?
For each one, +5 points.
4) Do you own any jazz records?
A) Yes, many: + 0 points. B) No, none: +3 points. C) I own one jazz album, “Kind of Blue” by Miles Davis: +3 points. D) Yes, I own several Kenny G albums: +5 points.
4) Have you paid money to see the Beach Boys since “Kokomo” was released in 1988?
A) No: +0 points. B) Yes: +5 points.
5) Have you been to a Moody Blues concert, at any point in your life?
A) No: +0 points. B) Yes: +5 points.
6) Do you have a beard?
A) No: +0 points. B) Yes: +5 points.
7) Do you have a ponytail?
A) No: +0 points. B) Yes: +10 points.
8) Who is your favorite guitarist?
A) Jimi Hendrix: +0 points. B) Whoever is playing in Ozzy’s band: +1 point. C) Richie Sambora: +2 points. D) Guitars are passé, I listen only to electronic music from Berlin: +5 points.
9) Who do you think invented punk rock?
A) The Ramones: +0 points. B) The Stooges: +0 points. C) The Sex Pistols: +0 points. D) Green Day: +5 points.
10) At the gym, what playlist do you listen to?
A) Madonna: +0 points. B) Lady Gaga: +0 points. C) Rihanna: +0 points. D) Susan Boyle: +5 points.
11) The coolest new band I’ve heard lately is….
A) Micachu & The Shapes: +0 points. B) Fuck Buttons: +0 points. C) The xx: +0 points. D) Jefferson Starship: +5 points.
12) What is your favorite Bob Dylan album?
A) Blood on the Tracks: +0 points. B) Blonde on Blonde: +0 points. C) Time Out of Mind: +0 points. D) Greatest Hits, Volume Three: +5 points.
13) Rap is….
A) An expression of the modern black experience: +0 points. B) The greatest new art form of the last 30 years: +0 points. C) An evolution of ancient African traditions: +0 points. D) The last three letters in crap: +5 points.
14) Where did you get your AC/DC t-shirt?
A) Angus Young gave it to me backstage: +0 points. B) Stole it from my older brother: +0 points. C) Bought it at an AC/DC concert: +0 points. D) Bought it at Urban Outfitters: +5 points.
15) When it’s time to put on some “bedroom music,” what do you play?
A) Maxwell: +0. B) Alicia Keys: +0. C) D’Angelo: +0 points. D) Justin Bieber: +5.
TOTAL SCORE:
0-10: Take the quiz again, and this time tell the truth.
10-29: You could probably get by with a smaller iPod.
30-59: So, when did you become a music blogger?
60-85: You have totally garbage taste in music! Are you the guy who lives upstairs?
Rob Tannebaum is the co-author of I Want My MTV: The Uncensored Story of the Music Video Revolution. "Hugely readable and fun" says Pitchfork! "One of my favorite books of the year" says USA Today!
Not a single Nickelback or Coldplay dig? What kind of music snob post is this?!
@sorry your heinous
16) In opposition to comments regarding the mediocrity of Coldplay's shmaltzy bullshit or whatever the hell Nickleback is trying to do with musical instruments, do you respond with the notion that music is subjective, and who's to say what is good art and bad art? No: 0 points. Yes: +85 points
@djfreshie Hah
@sorry your heinous
Nickelback is a good band.
@anonymass
+85
+78?http://bit.ly/vZrGn2
Strange. I don't know how you can judge someone's taste in music without asking how they feel about The National or Bon Iver.
@deepomega And even then, we'd need to know how they pronounce Bon Iver.
@hockeymom "SOOF-yan"
@deepomega Sound colors: Grey and beige, respectively
@Danzig! Or "Greige" if they form a super-group.
@hockeymom Bon Iver collaborated with James Blake. Color: Off-white.
Love that none of your "hot new band" examples have released a non-remix album since aught-nine, though.
@deepomega Didn't Micachu & The Shapes release a "crunk classical" album sooner than that, though?
@Danzig! That album was somewhat underwhelming.
@Danzig! Oof. Good catch. I think I blacked that one out. (For what should be pretty obvious reasons.)
I just got 2112 points by using Rush as my write-in answer for all questions.
@Murgatroid Well, you ARE Canadian.
I'd rather listen to All Things Must Pass again than any of the solo stuff John put out, and I really like John. -5 points
@freetzy Exactly! I decided that I must have garbage taste in music quizzes after reading that question.
@MParcells bingo!
This article gave me anxiety about the state of my music collection right now. I'm so far behind the trends it's truly sad.
I need to know how many points to give myself if my answer to 8 is Billy Gibbons.
Tres, Hombre. (I think that is an excellent answer to question #8!)
:D
This just made my day.
You insult George Harrison, I KILL YOU.
@antarcticastartshere seriously. I'd judge that Beatles question totally opposite. People who say John or Ringo are the ones whose music taste you question.
@antarcticastartshere Saying George Harrison is your favorite Beatle is like saying Radiohead is your favorite band.
@ComradePsmith A correct opinion, in other words
@antarcticastartshere Rob, have you not heard All Things Must Pass? I am sure that you have, in fact. Also, I really miss Blender.
@antarcticastartshere I assumed he meant George Benson?
@ComradePsmith Saying George Harrison is your favorite Beatle is almost as bad as confusing the improbable with the impossible? (Apologies, this is completely irrelevant. The cry goes round, "thejcar has been caught unawares by a truly excellent username and is now making nonsensical comments…")
I was hating so much on this. I even got up and went and shaved and retook the whole quiz because I had stopped before I got to the last line of the scoring. Good Lord, man, you are living in Hell. There are lots of apartments on the market. Back your ass on out of that.
Does a bun on the back of my head count as a pony tail?
@laurel Shhhh, Rob Tannenbaum is Serious About Music and therefore Women Don't Exist To Him.
@jolie I see. So, since the whole ponytail biz doubled my score to 20 my choices are A) women with ponytails are lumped in with men with ponytails; or B) I'm lying.
@jolie GET BACK IN THE
KITCHENHAIRPIN WHERE YOU BELONGDo you enjoy rap-rock?
1) No: +0 Points
2) What's that?: -10 Points
3) Yes: +1000 Points
4) Yes, but only ICP: just hurl yourself into the sun or something
Paul over John? JESUS CHRIST YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING
oh i get it, high score is bad.
@whizz_dumb "Imagine" neutralizes pretty much anything good he's done.
@Danzig! incorrect.
@Danzig!
I find that "Imagine" works quite nicely in a medley with "How Do You Sleep at Night?"
I'll thank you to leave the Moody Blues out of this.
@jolie I'll thank you to leave the Moody Blues out of any playlists.
@jolie Moody boos
I've been to a few Dave Mason shows. Just puttin' that out there.
What does it say about my musical taste that I'm recoiling in horror at the ad for Kreayshawn that just popped up on The Awl?
Keep in mind that the horror is not from actually listening to Kreayshawn, but just from reading about her.
In The Awl.
Is there some sort of meta-metric scoring system?
@hockeymom Kreayshawn is what happens when Ke$ha and Skrillex have a baby.
Pssh I only listen to music that samples 50's anti-weed PSAs. +65 points.
Seriously though I've got a Synkro EP on transparent yellow wax ripping in the next room, it's gorgeous. Also a test press of the new Sepalcure album 2 weeks early cuz I know people B)
What's the name of the one who's not Melissa Etheridge?
@Bus Driver Stu Benedict Ellen Degeneres.
To be fair, my favorite Beatle was Billy Preston.
@keisertroll
People whose favorite Beatle is George are talking about George Martin, right?
@Tulletilsynet No, George Foreman.
@keisertroll
My favourite Beatle is Noel Gallagher
@Tulletilsynet What does Game of Thrones have to do with The Beatles?
@cherrispryte
I've heard so much about Game of Thrones but don't have any of their records and had no idea old George was their producer. Not bad for a lad of 86! And deaf to boot!
I don't think this person "gets" the Indigo Girls. I think he'd be better off sticking to what he knows.
@oopsala As a reviewer, Rob Tannenbaum has had a long history disliking the Indigo Girls, hilariously.
It's so cute when people with little taste try to be snobs. Twee!
#7 is hilarious. BECAUSE WOMEN DON'T SERIOUSLY LISTEN TO MUSIC, DUH.
The rest of it reads like a lame zine from 1995. "Green Day and Urban Outfitters are for poseurs!"
@Lemonnier I'm pretty sure that this article is of a piece with the "listicle" series, in that there's very little purpose behind it other than to generate a lot of commentary (and pageviews).
Tannenbaum's new book is the perfect gift for all occasions, and tastes great with chipotle mayo.
@BadUncle Seriously, it is a great book.
Fact: J.J. Cale, Neil Young, and The Byrds Did Not Read This Post
Wait, we haven't even discussed mid-90s "ska"!
@Clarence Rosario And the ska dancing that happens along with it!
I have a ponytail . . . but I'm a girl!
Also, I am fairly sure that I saw the Moody Blues at the Garden State Arts Center some time in the early 80s. But it might have been Procul Harem? But it really might have been the Moody Blues and Procul Harem!
I remember that show! They closed the final encore with a collaborative performance of "Nights In A Whiter Shade of Satin." (That last part is not true.)
@oudemia Silly, this article was written for people, which means men. If you want to be taken into consideration as a reader, you get your pretty little butt back over to The Hairpin.
Clearly the author needs to brush up on some common Gilmore Girls-based wisdom. Lane Kim clearly states that in spite of his schmaltzy reputation, Jackson Browne actually wrote many of Nico's best songs and a proper music snob should know not to dismiss him offhand. (Not a Jackson Browne fan here, personally, but you gotta dole out the respect where it's due!)
I can't tell if this is a parody or not. CHOIRE????
Please do not diss George Harrison on my Internet.
@middlesmith
Or any member of the George Formby Society, for that matter.
I listen to Phish at the gym, almost exclusively. I can't even imagine the point total.
Question #13, Choice (D) FTW!!!
Joe Jackson, newb.
This is all gibberish to me. I come from the age of Jelly, Louie and Dizzy. Get a life. Benny and Artie showed up for the ride and Ella showed us how it was done.
I had 3, but fell asleep about halfway through, so I'm not really sure how I did.