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New Jersey governor Chris Christie will hold a press conference at 1 PM today in which he will announce his future plans, which almost certainly include a couple of stromboli and plate of cannoli. Because he's fat.
Future plans also include switching to Sans-a-Belt slacks (yeah, I said slacks) with their forgiving waistbands.
@scroll_lock maybe if we ask nicely we could get a sponsored post describing how to wear Sans-a-belt slacks. I know I'm baffled about accessorizing.
I don't think even Chris Christie could make it through a whole plate of cannoli–that's strictly competitive eating territory.
And when he sits out the race, he really sits out the race.
I CHOOSE NOT TO RASCAL.
Putting your press conference at the same time as the one for the new iPhone is a sure sign of shame over your own cowardice.
Call me wacky, but is anyone else worried Christie will pull a Huckabee, lose fifty pounds, and run (and God forbid WIN) against whoever runs for the Dems in 2016?
@keisertroll This is precisely what will happen.
@boyofdestiny We don't even have the satisfaction of having that asshole no longer be [my] governor.
@keisertroll I'd rather discuss entertaining presidential scenarios. I'm personally stocking up on popcorn against the day Sarah Palin decides to run as an independent. I'd pay money to see that.
Had Christie run, he could've been the first President with his own Congressman.
Chris Christie Will Sit On Race
Wait, is this guy fat or something? Is that what's going on here?
@Matt Apparently, these are all very "meta" ironic jokes about the media's attention on his weight. (Which, honestly, is a good point!) But they're telegraphed, so it's hard to distinguish them from the real thing.
I'll be in my room. Sorry for disrespecting the form here!
@Choire Sicha It's okay. My thing is, it's funny that we're even focusing on this guy (ha, 'gut') at all because he's actually the least odious of the GOP stable and also he's not running. But I mean, fat jokes!
Hi. Miss you.