Lady We All Kind Of Forgot About Decides Not To Do Job She Didn't Have A Chance At
Sarah Palin will not run for president of the United States. In related news, I have decided that I am going to let someone else be God for a little while longer. Even though it's fairly obvious that I'm the best person for the position, this website comes first, and I feel like I can do more for humanity by posting bear videos and writing "Sure, why the hell not" about ridiculous news stories than I could as the omniscient Lord Over Creation. I will continue driving the discussion for bourbon and blowjobs from this platform here, confident that I can do just as much for those issues with your support as I could by being King of the Heavens. Know that by working together we can bring this world back – and as I’ve always said, one doesn’t need a title to help do it. Even if I could have totally gotten it. Would have been easy! God bless you, and God bless me, who could have been God. Thanks!
BALK FOR GOVERNOR OF ALASKA. Where the bears and whiskey flow like milk and honey.
@deepomega What about the blowjobs?
@deepomega Also taxbreaks. Even for bloggers!
@Murgatroid Seriously, that's dealbreaker right there.
@Alex Balk: Pretty sure the tax breaks alluded to above count. Failing that, I'm guessing you and the bears can come to an "agreement."
@deepomega Sure, why the hell not.
@MurgatroidL>: apply "tongue stuck to metal playground pole in winter' to backseat of an off-road all terrain vehicle and maneuvering a semi-erect frozen cock out long-johns and snow pants zippers.
@HiredGoons GO ON.
This is like the part of the horror movie when the kids think they've finally killed the unkillable rapist/murderer, and they decide to have a party. I think you all know what happens next.
@Aatom 5 more sequels/election cycles?
Oh great, what am I supposed to do now with all these idols of you that I made?
@major disaster: I have some pins and a black candle…
so this is what it takes to get a post after 5?
@oxla Something like that.
Since blogging is so easy, and god doesn't seem to be doing much, couldn't you take on both? Choir can help with the administrative stuff.
This is a very crafty announcement and I believe he's left the door slightly open.
A god big on bears, blowjobs and bourbon sounds like one I could finally support
Sarah Palin is probably so ticked off at Steve Jobs right now.
Nah, I still think you should do the King of Heavens thing. The kids over at the shitty NYMag site can continue to serve humanity (and those on the Upper East Side) by "delivering" your material for you. "Sure, why not" I bet they'll say!
The Moon is breathing a sigh of relief right now.