Gays Brought Terribly Low by Heterosexual Newspaper's Makeovers
Finally, someone tells gay men what to wear! Not just any someone, but my one true fashion love, Cathy Horyn. Yet the results… well, the results here, where the Times has helped three gay male couples dress for their weddings, or for their anticipated weddings (couldn't find three couples getting married SOON???), some things that concerned me.
• “'I’ve only been to one gay wedding,' Mr. Bruno said as he was being prepped for his portrait with Mr. Ruales. 'The couple wore dark suits with white button-downs, no ties.'" THEY DID??? AND YOU STILL TALK TO THEM?
• "Of all the outfits, Bruce was perhaps most excited by a pair of dove gray suits from Calvin Klein, which will be available at Men’s Wearhouse and tuxedo rental shops." [*cries*]
• "'Until there are more examples — the gay beach wedding, the serious Four Seasons wedding — it’s hard to know what to market,' said Michael Kors, who wed his partner, Lance LePere, on a beach in the Hamptons, with Mr. Kors in his customary black T-shirt and white jeans and Mr. LePere in a chambray shirt and chinos." There is no gay wedding "market" and if there is it won't be emanating from the boutiques of Michael Kors, home of the worst belts in the western world.
This is just not how I pictured gay wedding makeovers. Gay people are better than straight people. This dragging of them by their hair down into the straight bargain torture basement is really upsetting!





So Choire, what are you wearing to your gay wedding?
What does "guy that regularly has threesomes with the couple" wear? (Cockring being the obvious answer.)
I don't know what kind of stunt they're pulling with that awful Men's Warehouse Calvin Klein suit — my (cute!) boyfriend had to wear it as best man in a (hetero) wedding and looked TERRIBLE.
To be announced: the first Filene's Basement Running of the Gay Brides.
Well we did want equality after all, so there you go.
I liked seeing the Givenchy in the wild, but those moccadrilles really bummed me out.
THIS IS SO HORRIFYING I FEEL LIKE I ENDED UP IN THE WRONG UNIVERSE WHY CAN'T I GO BACK WHY IS THE MULTIVERSE SO CRUEL AHHHHH!
Did the words "Commes des Garcons" really not appear in that article until the second page?
"Mr. Kors in his customary black T-shirt and white jeans and Mr. LePere in a chambray shirt and chinos"
And just like that, my heterosexual fashion inferiority complex VANISHED.
So Choire, tell us: White or champagne for you? (YOU ARE NOT FOOLING ANYONE, YOUNG LADY.)
@jolie Rose ivoire.
Gays: they're just like us!
"You're gonna like the way you look."
*Shudder*
So… I shouldn't buy my white tuxedo at Kohl's?
Is it possible that weddings are just inherently, irredeemably tacky?
Gentlemen (gay and straight).
1. Netflix some James Bond movies. Circa early Sean Connery.
2. Look at what he's wearing.
3. Wear that.